Authoritative parent is very
accepting and involved in child's life, lets child make their own decisions but
at the appropriate time in their life. Sometimes they'll negotiates with the
child, and hears them out. They're warm and accepting to their children. Very
opposite to other child rearing styles. autonomy granting, which is being
flexible with privileges and rules as the child matures and becomes trustworthy.
They form a good relationship that can be firm but caring at the same time. They
give reasons for their expectations.
My mom would take many pictures
of my brothers and I. She also did a lot of video recording; of us playing with
our friends, and funny things we did as we grew up. In her family she was one of
the youngest and she feels like they stopped taking photos after the first 2
kids. This made her feel unloved and unexpected, that is why she showed her love
and acceptance that she didn't have in her life. She tries to make up, that
which was lacking in her own childhood.
One funny moment on the video camera in 1994, she recorded my brother holding me in a wrapped towel when I got out of the bathtub. She would always wrap me up and he would hold me like I was his little baby. He'd have me say baby things like "Goo Goo Ga Ga." That was back when he was sweet.
Growing up in a Christian home, I was taught the 8th commandment Thou Shalt Not Steal. I was punished with many spankings for stealing a whoopee cushion when I was 7 years old. When I was in 8th grade I got caught stealing at Longs Drugs. I knew what I did was wrong and felt terrible when my dad picked me up. When I got home my mom sat down with me and talked to me about how I knew what I did was wrong, and she forgave me, but I was grounded for a whole month. And by the stores rules, not being allowed to go into Longs.
Throughout my adolescence I have misrepresented the truth to my parents (lied) and this has caused them difficulty to trust me at times. The adaptive control has allowed me to watch their discipline in action. I've moved 60 miles away from my hometown. In this year they have trusted me to drive to Galt and stay over nights and transport people back with me to Auburn. This wouldn't have happened last year; some of my trust was lost back then. Some parents would simply say, "No." They have seen a lot of maturity in me the past year.
Authoritative parent is very accepting and involved in child's life, lets child make their own decisions but at the appropriate time in their life. Sometimes they'll negotiates with the child, and hears them out. They're warm and accepting to their children. Very opposite to other child rearing styles. Appropriate autonomy granting, which is being flexible with privileges and rules as the child matures and becomes trustworthy. They form a good relationship that can be firm but caring at the same time. They give reasons for their expectations.
My dad always liked to have one on one time with each of his kids. Our father-daughter time was my favorite. We've gone to the movies, batting cages, walks, and long drives when we can talk. He is really involved in my life. I was doing horrible in school and was not doing anything to bring up my grades. He decided to take me out and home-school me himself. He started working in Auburn and commuting a couple days a week. I would come up every other week with him. He taught me to I could do work on my own. In the first semester with my dad, we completed academic work, including doing my driver's Ed online and getting my permit and license on the first time. Learning how to drive gave me many hours of quality time with my dad.
My father was strict on making sure we were in the house by our curfew for the night; not going to parties; and knowing exactly where I was and If there was going be supervision. Those were some things I had trouble being honest when I was younger. Since I wasn't allowed to be out past 11 o'clock at the beginning of my sophomore year, I figured, "Why not just sneak out?" One night I was hanging out with one of my 18 year old guy friends down the street; it was 4 am. My dad does bed checks every once in a while when he wakes up. He woke up and saw that I was not in my bed and called me on my cell. I mistakenly answered it thinking it was my brother. I told him I was down the street with my friend. The guy runs of to hide and I see my dad walking toward me wearing his police uniform (He's a police Chaplin). My dad made me call him but it went to his answering machine. He left a message saying all kinds of things and ended with, "Be a man and come talk to me." The guy did and I got grounded for 2 weeks and I lost all their trust in me. When they ground me it was know going anywhere and coming straight home after school.
My dad has a lot of trust in me now; since about a year ago. I started talking classes at Sierra College Spring semester. My dad trusts that ill go to my classes be on time, for me to do my best in those classes.
As outlined above, both of my parents exercised authoritative parenting styles. Looking at the research it would seem that I would display strong characteristics in these areas of competence an upbeat mood, self-control, task persistence, cooperativeness, high self-esteem, social and moral maturity, and favorable school performance.
Although neither of my parents were overtly permissive, I seem to exhibit some of the less desirable traits. I will first describe specific of development in these areas, and attempt to explain the possible reason for the contradiction.
One trait I exhibit is my upbeat mood, I'm happy most of the time and I love to laugh. I was a cheerleader before I got taken out of Galt High. I was the captain on the JV Warriors. Being a cheerleader requires self-esteem, and to be in leadership; enough self-esteem that others follow my leadership.
In the area of self-control contrary to the research, this has not been one of my strong traits. Perhaps this is an area I will grow into. Recently I've been trying to work on my self control. I'm trying to get in shape for summer; that means going to they gym everyday; staying on the treadmill for a certain amount of time etc. My impulsive self makes me want to have McDonalds or candy or something to eat on my way home. Recently I've been working on controlling my impulses through.
I've come to realize that the great confidence others place in me as a childcare giver (babysitter) is due to a self esteem. I am confident n my abilities and others see that, the parents that hire me acknowledge that fact regularly. My own parents always commended me for being great with kids. They're regular affirmation instilled positive self-esteem. When a mother of 4 children was in the hospital for their 5th baby to watch the kids for a whole week while she was recovering.
Being a pastor, my father's intent was to raise me with a strong sense of morality. I feel very strongly that babies should be protected, even if their not born yet. I one I stand up for my conviction is to discuss issues openly when they come up. For instance recently I was at my friend Christina's house and abortion came up in our conversation. Christina and I feel very strongly on Pro Life. We ended up having a 2 on 2 debate, then Christina's dad could not resist joining in on the conversation. He had many facts that refuted their arguments, in fact he mentioned a few things I didn't know. It was a good way to practice what I learned, and try to make other change their mind.
The text says since I was raised by authoritative parents I should have high task persistence. That is very opposite from me. I've always lacked the desire to do my work, until my dad took me out of school and help me accountable for completion of my academic tasks. My first major assignment was to do a oral interview which I discussed the semester project and edited it and uploaded it up on the internet. Perhaps I will become more task oriented, and maybe that is due to my fathers discipline.
My emerging morality as a young woman, has been tested recently. A long time friend told me she had leukemia could die within 9 months . She didn't want me to tell anyone cause her mom told her not to tell anyone. I felt the need to tell my parents, because I needed someone to be praying along side me for her. My dad brought her up in front of our church and lifted her up in prayer. For months she would cry to me about her pain, and I would cry with her. It was a very emotional time in my life. One weekend my parents decided to go to Galt to pray with her parents about her leukemia, and discovered that it was a total lie. It has been a challenge on my morality to wait upon her for an explanation and to be able to forgive her.