WhatEva     A Daily Journal By: Eva Moore

      Quote of the Day    

"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."

--   Robert Lee Frost

4.30.06
10:24pm

     Another month has come and gone.  You know what this means though?  It means that there is only 10 more days until I have to get on an airplane.  I must admit that I have been avoiding even the thought of it.  I don't want to think about it, I don't want to talk about it.  I don't want anything to do with it to be quite frank.  I don't want to fly...at all.  But I have to...and I hate doing something that I don't want to do.  I hate feeling forced.  It doesn't seem like a big deal to me to drive there and make a 2 week trip out of it.  I mean James can work from his mom and dad's house anyway.  But no, James doesn't want to do that.  Instead he would rather risk our lives just so we can save time.  Do we know this pilot?  NO.  Why should I trust him?  I shouldn't.  Do I know who the mechanics are and what they did to the plane?  NO.  All in all I just don't trust anything about it.  I am sure that if I allowed myself right now to really start thinking about it I could scare myself into crying...but I am trying not to do that.  I know that I have to get on the plane, so I am just going to do it.  I am going to try to stay collected, but I have the bad feeling that I may have a nervous breakdown mid flight.  On May 10th I would request that all of you pray, pray, and pray some more...for our safety.  Knowing that you all are thinking of us...asking God to watch over us, will help me immensely. 
     Today was so busy.  We spent early 2 hours at Lowes today trying to figure out what we needed to buy to put hand rails on our back deck stairs.  It was so frustrating.  We did however get me a few more plants...(ok, 6 more)  and also some more turf builder and sprinkler.  We did get all that we needed for the railing, and it is mostly put together already.  I was so excited about it, I always felt unsafe not having anything to hold on to, especially when you have 3 dogs running by you at top speed.  Especially for little Isaiah.  Who I might add had a lot of fun at church.  So did we.  Because it is summer break now for the college, most of the students for our church were gone, so it was more of a small study group.  Which I liked.  We all had our chairs situated in the form of a circle, and that is how we had service.  It was nice.  We were able to make comments more and interact, that is one thing I really enjoy, hearing people speak up and make comments.  Today in service we were talking about "the vine and the branches...."  and Nino brought a dead branch in and a fruitful one for us to see.   He talked about "abiding"  in Christ, and what that means.  How we can abide in Christ, and continue to through out our life.   That is a hard question.  It doesn't seem like it should be, but it is.  Because really, it isn't something that I think about much.  It is something that  I just do.  I make sure that I talk to God, I make sure that I think about him, that I talk to Isaiah about him.  No, I don't pray as often as I should anymore.  To be honest, it gets forgotten amongst the chaos that can be my day.  But when good things happen I praise the Lord, and when bad things happen I think to myself that good will come of it, God has a plan for that tragedy.  I don't always "feel"  the Lord...emotionally I mean.  It seem like in church people are always closing their eyes, holding up their hands, it "looks" like they are actually feeling Gods presence every time they are in service.  I don't.  At least not all the time.  Sometimes I do...and when I do I shed some tears...but for the most part I want to learn Gods word...I don't come there to be filled...I already am.  At least that is how I feel.  I am already saved, and I guess I just don't feel the need to put on a show.  Not that I think anyone else is, but for me, I feel like if I did that then that is what it would be...a show.  I don't want that...it is fake.  But you have heard all of this before.  blah blah blah huh?  Get over it Eva.  I guess it is just so easy to start doubting your relationship with God when you are constantly surrounded by people who appear to be closer to him than you are, and appear to be "feeling" it, way more than you are.  I know that nothing is wrong with me, I know that my relationship with God is my own, and it's personal, and it's how it is...everyone has a different relationship.  This has been affirmed to me by James, Iona, and others.  But like I said, it is so easy for doubt to creep in...and this time I have no doubt that it is indeed Satan trying to worm his way into my head, to make me doubt myself and what I have with God.   Don't you hate that?  All it takes is a seed of doubt...and your head starts going this way and that.  Awful.
     Anyway...so it was a busy day...to say the least.  I found a picture of the picnic table that Costco has that I want to buy...James wants to see a picture of it before we buy it.  For whatever reason I can't find it at the Costco website...but I did find the same one at sears.  So I will show him that picture, and hopefully we can pick it up this week.  I want to have it here for the birthday party this coming Saturday.  Assuming that we can even be outside, it might be raining.  Which would be bad since we bought Isaiah a Power Wheels.  It better be nice weather.  So...that's all for me.  I will chat with you all later.  Bye.
 

4.29.06
11:25pm

     Well I just finished a great day.  First of all I had to go shopping to get birthday presents for Stephanie's children's birthday party.  Now, I left maybe 15 minutes after ten.  I took the freeway to get there specifically so it would be fast.  As the party started at 1pm.  I shopped fairly quickly.  Don't get me wrong...it took at least 30-40 minutes, but still it was fast considering I had to look for gifts for kids that I hardly know.  Well, I would have been home with one hour to spare, maybe a little bit less...but you know what happened?  I ended up with the slowest cashier on the planet.  And the stupid thing was that this lady had a patch on her uniform that said she was a 4 star cashier.  But no...she had to take her precious time scanning all the stuff the lady had who was in front of me.  She even took the time to place all the clothes nicely on top of each other, hangers all together on top, and then put them in a bag with the bag up side down with the hangers sticking out so she could hang them on the cart!!!!  OH MY GOODNESS!!!  IT'S WAL-MART!!!  We were not in some fancy store where she was buying a prom dress....there is no need for that.  It's Wal-Mart, you throw it in the bag and move on to the next item.  It took forever.  I got home with 30 minutes to spare.  I had to feed myself, get the presents wrapped, get Isaiah ready to go...I was late for the party by like 10 minutes...but I suppose that I should have known I would be.  I completely blame that cashier.  I don't like being late, I am either on time, or early, hardly ever late.  It just bugged me.  I won't be getting in her line again.   And of course I tell James about this and he says that she was just providing good customer service...and I said, NO, it's Wal-Mart...it was stupid.  I stand by this...I will not falter.  lol
     Also...another thing bugging me a lot is that James' hair is getting out of control.  It is way too long, and it looks horrible.  It is bad.  I don't know why he is doing this.  If it is too try me nuts though, it is working.  He says he doesn't know why he is doing it, or what his plans are in regards to how long to let it get, but I am on the verge of taking a buzzer to it in his sleep.  Don't get me wrong, I love guys with nice LONG hair.  But I don't like this awful in the middle stage where it looks....well, stupid.  You can't do anything with it.  He can't style it, he can't do anything but wear his beanie over his head.  You know, the one he always wore in church?  lol  Anyway, I just had to rant about that. 
     Back to my day though.  The party was great.  I met a lot of people from the neighborhood there, and talked with a bunch of em.  James came later when Evelyn woke up from her nap and he got to meet Stephanie's husband Mike, who also owns an X-Box.  I was there for a long portion of the day.  Then, later on I decided that I wanted to watch a movie that I had here.  The Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio.  The problem was that James wasn't interested in watching it.  He said it was a "chick flick".  So, I invited Tammy (a chick) over to watch it with me at 9pm.  And lucky me she did and wow was it a great movie.  I mean really just about anyone would like it.  It is based on a true story back in what I think must have been the 50's.  Check it out...it's really good.  So...now here I am, it's almost midnight, and James is already upstairs.  I suppose that I should join him.  Maybe I can stay awake long enough to chop his hair off while he sleeps.  lol  j/k  (maybe)  Talk to you all later.  Bye.

    

4.28.06
11:33PM

     What a good night.  We had Tammy and Nino over and ate pizza.  Which is my favorite.  Then, we stuck the kids in front of the TV to watch King Kong while we played the board game RISK.  Oh yes...that's right people.  World Domination.  Now, I don't care who wins, as long as it isn't James.  So I warned them about this.  I told them that he is a champ, and will stop at nothing.  Well, of course, James won.  Big surprise.  It was actually a very close game...between the three of them.  I got beat down so quick it was laughable.  I mean I lost bad.  And I had such high hopes for myself too.  I just didn't pay enough attention to everyone else and what they were doing.  That was my downfall.  Anyway, I am really tired though.  It was a busy day.  James picked up Isaiah's present by the way.  We ended up getting him a Fire Truck power wheels.  It is cool.   Even has a working water tank with hose.  Anyway...that's all for now.  Later.
 

4.27.06
8:34pm

     Hello to one and all.  Today was so nice.  Beautiful day out, yet somehow I didn't go outside hardly at all.  The only time I did was to water the plants and also when this lady named Beverly came by from this Welcome Committee for our area and brought a bunch of stuff, coupons, gift certificates, and maps...When I agreed to her coming over, I thought that she would just drop them off, maybe chat for a little bit.  But no.  Evidently she has to go through all of the stuff she had for me because whatever I don't want, she keeps for someone else.  Unfortunately for me she had a whole lot of stuff, and so it took her 30 minutes to go through it all with me.  We sat outside for most of it because I didn't want the dogs to start barking at her and wake up Evelyn who at the time was napping.  I explained things to her, and she didn't mind.  When I did let her in finally, and of course Coco did bark...like the stupid dog that she is.  lol    I have tried very hard today to keep the house looking semi good.  I ended up getting the kitchen done early, and was able to sit down on my comfy couch and start writing this out during Survivor.  Ah, I love relaxing. 
     Another exciting thing is that today Lorenda moved into her new apartment.  Well, I am sure it is not all exciting, actually I know that she is very nervous, possibly scared, and who can blame her.  If you can, keep her in your prayers.  It will be a big adjustment for her and her kids, so I know they will need it.  I am however excited to check out her new place when we get there in a couple weeks and hopefully I will even be able to help her do some shopping for it.  The nice thing was that she bought me some cereal today and mailed it off to me.  Corn Bran.  I love that cereal.  But of course, they don't sell it here.  Why?  Why would they NOT sell it here?  They sell all the other types of cereal from Quaker...just not that one.  It's like Michigan has something against bran.  I don't know...but I was glad that Lorenda bought me some and mailed them off. 
     Anyway, so James slept a lot today, I wish that it had been me.  Sometimes I can have very selfish thoughts.  I can honestly say that quite often my thoughts are about how to make it so I can do as little as possible.  A good amount of time my thoughts go towards how I can get James to do things for me.  Now, these are all just thoughts, and luckily I think before I act, so I push all of those aside and try to do things myself as much as possible.  But sometimes I can't help it.  Like tonight for instance.  It is my night to take care of Isaiah, but when it came time to put him to bed, I didn't feel like getting up.  So instead of going with James to put him to bed I asked him to do it himself.  He said, "But it's your night."  I said, "Are you telling me that you can't put him in bed on my night, when I put Evelyn to bed almost every night?"  Now, really I don't care about that, it was just my excuse to get him to go do it.  You see, us girls, we are conniving.  Of course though I had a valid point, so he went and did it.  You see what I mean.  Selfish.  I was being selfish.  So, to make up for it, just a few minutes ago, I heard Evelyn crying.  James got up to get her, but I asked him if he would like me to get her, since he took Isaiah up earlier.  He had no problem with it.  So, I made up for it...but knowing me it will happen again in some other form.  It's hard to escape sin, even when it is something that seems so small.  Anyway, that is all for me right now...I am gonna go.  Talk to you all later.  Bye.
 

4.26.06
8:39pm

     Sorry about not writing anything last night, I just ended up doing too much and it was too late to be on the computer.  We ended up going to Toys R Us while Isaiah was at school and looked for his birthday present.  We ended up with lots of ideas.  Trampoline, Power Wheels, RC Racer, Sand Box, Play Ground, lots of things.  We couldn't decide on which was the best.  We did however find something for Evelyn's birthday.  We got her a cute little slide, $40.00.  Isaiah used to have one too that he loved.  Of course he was walking by now, but she will soon and so then she will be able to use it better.  When we got home from the toy store I decided to go online and start looking at all those present ideas on their website, so I could read the details better and stuff.  In the end, I gave up on my hope for a sandbox, and went a head with James' idea for the Power Wheels.  They cost anywhere from $150.00 - $175.00.  Not too bad.  We might go ahead and use twenty bucks or so to get him so crafts too, like paints and scissors and such.  He needs more crafts.  He likes to paint, but I don't even have any more paper for him to do that on.  I need to start planning his party that we are having over here too.  I have the stuff for his cake, but I need to make sure that everyone I invited is coming.  I don't want it to be just us...not that it would be bad if it was, but I would like some kids. 
     Today was such a great day outside that we ended up being out and about the whole time.  Isaiah must have went to the park 3 times, and then we were in the back yard a lot too.  Which I might add we desperately need some type of seating out there.  Evelyn didn't nap as much as I would like her to have, but she was really good.  And the last time we went to the park I met Stephanie's husband Mike...who I might add is a very good looking man.  He was very nice and we talked for a while, until Isaiah announced that he had to use the bathroom, now.  So we said bye and took off for the house.  I really think that they need to have a bathroom built at the park.  Just a small one, with one stall.  It can just be a uni-sex bathroom even.   I just don't want to have to walk home every time a bathroom break is needed.  I don't think it is a big request.
     Now, something funny did happen this morning.  James was mowing the lawn...he borrowed Nino's though.  That mower is really cool because it is self propelled.   So James is outside and is going along fine, when Isaiah comes out to "help".  James decides to let him, because since it is self propelled he can do it easily.  Well, before James could reach Isaiah...the phone line which has yet to be buried by SBC was run over by our son, and of course ripped apart.  We had no phone service, and since our internet is DSL, we also had no internet, which meant that James couldn't work.  So, he called SBC and amazingly enough the had someone here in less than an hour.  It got fixed in no time at all, and James was able to work.  He was only an hour late.  Personally, I can't believe that he let Isaiah use the lawn mower.  He could have hurt himself very bad.  Do you know that years ago, back when I was a young teen, my great grandma was mowing her lawn bare foot, and she accidentally ran over her foot while pulling the mower backwards.  Half of one of her toes came off.  That is something that could have easily happened to Isaiah.  But, James doesn't think of that you know.  I will have to talk to him about that later. 
     Well anyway, that's all for me.  I am gonna go.  I want to take a nice bath and relax, and then maybe spend some time with James.  Which I might add I have not been able to do much.  But, that is expected when you have a house to take care of, two kids, three dogs, and numerous other things.  lol   Till next time.  Bye.
 

4.25.06
12:25AM

     Well, it is way too late to do this.  Sorry.  It is my own fault.  I went grocery shopping very late, just got back like an hour ago.  I will write to you about all that we did today...tomorrow.  lol  Bye.
 

4.24.06
9:25pm

     Well, I am writing this early again in  the hopes that I can get more sleep tonight.    I would like to be able to say that I get 8hrs of sleep every day, but that is very rarely the case...ever.  I did finally talk to someone today about Isaiah and his speech.  Turns out that if I had called a few weeks ago he could have started the entire process right away, but since it is now after April 15th, their deadline...he can't begin a program until this fall.  What they can do is start a screening test and do an examination on all his skills and abilities to see what he does need help in.  From what she has said, if he fails  the speech test, which I am sure he will, then they will put him on the list to be in the speech therapy program.   So...for now he has an appt to see them on May 22nd to be screened, and then we will go from there.  We do have to get a hearing test done though, she said that is important to make sure that they can help him in the right way.  So I made a call about that and I am waiting to hear back.  I hope I do soon.  I want to get all of this done with.  I want to start helping him as soon as possible.  Just talking to that lady made me so happy, I wanted to burst out with tears.  I just want to help Isaiah, I want him to be happy.  
     Speaking of being happy, I have been feeling happier lately.  I'm not all the way to my normal self...I still feel slightly off, but I am closer, and that is good.  Knowing is half the battle after all.  YO JOE!!  (Little GI JOE humor there)  lol  I spent a lot of time outside today with the kids.  The dogs in the yard and everyone running around.  It was fun.  I rearranged Evelyn's room too, which I love doing.  I love moving furniture.  Lucky for James I can find no good reason to move the other furniture in our house around.  Everything is actually in the perfect spot.  But Evelyn's room had been bugging me for a while now, so I took the time to do it.  Looks much better.  I want to paint in there so bad, I need to find time for it.  I am also going to be adding a picture of Nino and Tammy with their kids to here very soon.  That way you can all see who I am writing about so often.  I took the picture today when I saw that they were outside...it turned out great. 
     Why does it feel like today should be Friday, when the weekend just finished?  I don't know why but that is what it feels like.  I didn't tell you yesterday but when we were at church I decided that I am not bringing Evelyn to church anymore.  I am just gonna have to stay home and let James and Isaiah go, unless my mom happens to have the day off and also doesn't go to church, then I will just ask her to watch Evelyn.    It is just too hard to have her in the service with us.  When I go to church I prefer to listen to the sermon, hear God's word, and learn something.   I do not want to be sitting there constantly being distracted by my beautiful daughter who is whining due to the fact that it is her nap time.  So...that will be my sacrifice, until something is figured out that will better enabe me to enjoy the service.  Well, now we are going to watch a movie, A History of Violence.  Heard it was a good one.  Talk to you all later.  Bye.

P.S.  The picture of Tammy and Nino's family is up now.  It's the last one.  Take a look will ya.
 

4.23.06
8:38pm

     Ok, I want to mention something that everyone in California will find odd.  I have been meaning to write about this for a while, but I just always forget when it comes time to writing it.  So...in California when you go to a public restroom, there are the toilet seat covers...even if there are none there, there is at least the slot where they belong, but you at least know they should be there.  This is always the case I would say 98% of the time.  You might as well say that public restroom=seat cover.  Am I right?  I know I am.  Anyway, here's the thing...there are none here.   So far I have gone into at least 4 different store bathrooms, and they simply don't have them...I am not saying that they are all out either, they just don't have them.  There is no spot for them...at all.  Now this amazed me...because I just assumed that this was something that was required.  Not law...but required.  I guess not.  Personally I don't care though...some people freak out at the mere thought of not using one...but those are people who don't realize that you can not get a disease from using a toilet seat.  The only way for you to get "something" from someone would be for you to literally sit down on that seat 5 seconds or less after them...and you would have to have some other circumstances that I won't write about occur...but the point is, it isn't gonna happen.  It's a myth.  One of many.  It's like the whole thing that mom's do...they don't let there kids go outside if it is windy or "cold" with out a jacket.  Why?  Because they might get sick.  NO!  Wrong!  They can not get sick from simply being out in the cold.  Won't happen.  They also won't get sick for being outside with wet hair.  That's right people...it will not happen.  Other myths...well there are lots out there people.  Here are just a few.  I will provide a link for each one so you can read the proof.

1. Chewing gum takes seven years to pass through the human digestive system.
http://www.snopes.com/oldwives/chewgum.asp

2.  Hair grows back darker or thicker after it has been shaved.
http://www.snopes.com/oldwives/hairgrow.asp

3  Those who go swimming less than one hour after eating will be taken by a cramp and drown.
http://www.snopes.com/oldwives/hourwait.asp

4.  Staring at the TV for too long will cause bad eye vision.
http://www.readersdigest.ca/mag/2001/12/wives.html

     Well, these are just a few, there are plenty more.  But I will leave it for you to explore on your own.  Today was a good day though.  I planted the plants that I bought while it was just starting to rain...I figured that would help them to get watered all at the same time, and would then save me time.  They look great though and I think that I will buy a couple more because there are some spots that still look empty.  (Sorry the font is staying smaller right now...I am having issues with Front Page)  Tammy and I went to Costco this evening and I had a good time.  Of course if you have been reading this for a long time then you know that I love shopping there.  Bought a few things...wanted to buy a whole lot more.  But I have James' voice in my head telling me over and over again that I shouldn't buy it unless I need it.  But whatever.  So anyway, that was really all, my house is clean, the kids are all in bed, and now I am gonna go take a nice hot bath to relax.  Talk to you all later.  Bye.
 

4.22.06
6:01pm

     Well, here I am at Nino and Tammy’s house babysitting 3 of their 4 kids.  Earlier this afternoon I had asked Tammy if she wanted to go to the store with me, and while we were out she mentioned that Nino was taking some of the college students from their church out to a fancy restaurant, but that she couldn’t go, since it wasn’t a place for a lot of kids.  Well, I told her that as long as James didn’t mind, I would watch them for her.  So when we got back I asked James about it and he said it was fine.  Actually, he just came to the door asking about where the cooking oil was, so he can make fried chicken.  I know we have some, he just needs to look better.  Anyway, he and I were both hoping that my mom would have been home by now to help watch the baby, she got off work at 5pm.  She should be home…so I told him to call her cell phone, make sure everything is ok.  I know if my dad knew she was this late and hadn’t gotten a call from her he would be worried.  But anyway, so I went out though because I had to go get that prescription for my infection, and then I wanted to go to LOWES to get an anchor for Evelyn’s curtains.  So while I was at LOWES I saw some really pretty semi cheap plants that I thought would look great in my front yard.  After a brief consideration….I bought them.  And really they were good prices.    So basically all I have to do now is move around a few of the smaller plants that I already have to make room for the area that I want these new plants to be.  Luckily, I only have to move two of them.  I think that eventually I will have it all looking great. 
     Well, about 2 hrs has passed since I started this.  I have cleaned the house while the kids all watched a movie, and now the kids are all in bed.  Johnny is feeling nervous about going to sleep with his mom and dad being gone, so I tried to call them so he could say goodnight…unfortunately they didn’t answer.  So I left his bedroom door open a little bit to help him feel better.  I hope it does.  I was reading Tiffany’s blog on her myspace acct today.  I don’t have a myspace of my own to view hers with, but she lets me log in as her, and look at her page.  I was glad to see that she is actually taking the time to write stuff out.  That is how we met you know... in a writing class.  She used to write all the time…until someone who I will not mention right now found her journal and read it front to back.  Talk about a betrayal.  Anyway, I am just glad to see that she has gotten back into it you know.  Writing is such a great way to express your feelings, and most of the time it can really help you figure out your problems too.  You know, I have so many journals at home, and then this “blog”, if I am serious with myself, is anyone ever going to want to read these when I am old or dead??  Will my kids, or my grandkids??  Will they even care?  Or will they be found someday by some stranger who will just throw them away?  Sometimes I think about all that, and contemplate throwing them all in the trash.  I would hate for all my efforts to be a waste.  I want my kids to read them, I want my grandkids to read them.  I want them to read them, learn from them, and enjoy them.  Well, I guess time will tell.  Maybe I'll have a movie about my life, and maybe not. 
    Anyway though…So before any of the other stuff that I wrote about happened, James and I did a lot of yard work.  I mean a lot.  We weeded out the entire landscaped area in our front yard.   It took the entire span of Evelyn’s napping, but it looks so much better.  And my mom also called a landscaping company about the fact that our sprinklers don’t work and they should be coming out in a few weeks to help us fix that problem.  I really want to get our grass looking better…even more than that, I want to be able to mow it down, so I can let the grass spread its seed.   But of course now our lawn mower isn’t working…go figure huh?  So, that is all for me.  I am done.  But I will let you all know how church goes.  Later.

4.21.06
9:43pm

     Ok, so I have two big things to write to you about.  First of all, I went to the doctor today because I discovered a second lump and it grew over night.  So, I went in.  Well, thankfully it is only an infection, and taking some antibiotics will get rid of it.  Whew!  Glad that is taken care of.  I must admit I was pretty worried, I just wasn't showing it to any one you know.  Second, and this is the big one, while at the doctors office I was reading a magazine, and came across an interesting story.  It was about a lady and her two daughters, and the youngest, Sasha, who couldn't talk well.  She was almost 4.  The whole time I was reading it, I kept thinking how this is Isaiah I am reading about.  This is my son.  This lady found out that her daughter had a neurological disorder, called Verbal Apraxia.  They don't know what causes it, and only extensive speech therapy can help.  And even then, it might not.  I would love to sit here and type out everything this article said...but that would take forever.  So...I found a website that also tells all about it and what it is.  Here is the link if you would like to read it.
http://www.tayloredmktg.com/dyspraxia/das.shtml
Now, James and I plan on telling the speech therapist who is supposed to call on Monday all about this, just to suggest to her that this could be his problem.  Now, I hope it isn't, because if so this could affect him for life, speech therapy might not work, and I hate to imagine him struggling with speech for the rest of his life.  Quite frankly, it makes me want to cry.  So, I will be mentioning this to them, and pray that it isn't the problem, but also pray for strength if it is.  Will you please do me the favor of praying for our son as well.  On that website it even mentions how in older kids (Isaiah's age) it can cause them to be shy...well that fits in well right now doesn't it?  Since he has such a hard time recently playing around others.  I hope that my son doesn't have to go through this...I don't want him to feel like he is not normal.  Like there is something wrong with him.  I want him to feel secure and happy, confident.  Ugh...I am gonna make myself sad...enough of that topic.  Oh, here is one more place I found too about it.  http://www.apraxia-kids.org/ 
     Anyway, so another thing that happened was my next door neighbor was having a yard sale today.  Lots and lots of kid stuff.  I bought Evelyn two great toys and Isaiah a large hard plastic type play center for the back yard.  In all I spent nine bucks.  Great deal if you ask me.  Isaiah really likes it too, and Evelyn was playing with her new toys quite a bit.  She likes them.  I hope that she does get lots of gift certificates for her birthday, because then I can buy her some cute summer clothes and some more fun toys.  She loves getting new toys.  We still have to decide on what to buy Isaiah for his birthday.  UGH, see, I just mentioned him and instantly this sadness came over me.  I am so worried that he has this Apraxia thing.  I don't want my child to have this problem...I don't want him to be different.  Dang it...this is going to drive me nuts. 
I can't stop thinking about it.  One thing I read was saying that some experts believe that it is due to head trauma, a head injury, while other experts say that it just happens...in the end though, no one knows for sure.  But I was thinking, what if it is due to head trauma, and what if it is because when he was being born they (the doctor) tried to suction him out of me?  Just thinking that makes me start crying...that it could be my fault.  I didn't want them to suction him out, I didn't want it to hurt his head, but I gave in and did it, and in the end even that didn't work, I still needed a c-section.  I know, I know, I can't dwell on that...it's not my fault.  I know.  Just makes me sad.  God I hope that his problem is just because he can't hear well. 
     Anyway, I need to clean the kitchen...or I will never get it done.  I'll talk to you all later.  Bye.
    

4.20.06
8:28pm

     Well, I feel pretty bad, emotionally.  I have actually for the last few days, maybe more than that even.  I don't know what it is, maybe I am just in a funk.  I don't really feel sad, not depressed at all, just sort of feeling down, on myself maybe, I don't know.  But it has been making me snack a lot more than I usually do, a lot more candy, and has been making me want to be alone more often also.  The worst part of it all is that every time my mom or James see me snacking on candy, they mention it to me and tell me how that isn't part of my diet and I shouldn't have it.  Well, that doesn't help me at all.  Honestly it just makes me want to eat more, and makes me feel worse emotionally.  Ugh, I don't know, I don't really know what to say about how I am feeling.   It will go a way soon, when this happens it doesn't last forever, goes a way eventually.  I will just pray on it, hopefully it will go away. 
     Another worry is a small lump that I have found.  I don't want to mention where...but the point is that it is there, feels like a ball under my skin.  You know how your fingers are sectioned off into three parts?  Well it is about as big as the top part of my pinky, which is pretty big if you ask me.  It hurts sometimes, and no...I don't think it is a pimple.  Which I realize is what a lot of people usually assume when someone says they have a lump/bump under their skin.  Anyway, it has been there for almost 2 weeks now, and I don't really know how long I should wait until I go to the doctor.  Plus, I really don't want to go to the doctor, since I don't have a doctor here.  That would all mean that I have to find a doctor, make an appointment, use our stupid health plan coverage that really doesn't cover anything like it should, and then I would have to drive there, and try to find it.  Not my idea of a good time.  lol
     Today was also not helped by the fact that the kids were driving me nuts.  Everything was so peaceful this morning, I took Isaiah to school, came home, slept for 3 more hours and then went to pick up Isaiah from school.  After that my home broke out in chaos.  Evelyn was having a very hard time, crying, screaming, and I mean high pitched screams.  Isaiah was feeling very needy, whiny, and not knowing what he wanted to do...basically I was feeling the stress.  I ended up just taking them to the park, which helped them all calm down, but Isaiah wouldn't go play on the play ground.  Every time he sees that there are other kids there, it is like he clams up and doesn't want to play around them or with them.  He actually told me that when the other kids go home, he would go play.  Just makes me feel sad.  I don't know why he is doing this.  He never used to, in California he would play at the park with all kinds of kids that he didn't know.  He would even run and play with random kids who he has never met before.  I just don't get it, and I don't know how to help him either.  I want him to feel comfortable around other children and be able to make friends.  AH, well, James and I have to talk about it and decide on a plan of action.  Hopefully, we can do something to help him feel ok about being around other children.  Get him back to how he used to be.  Got any suggestions?  If so I would love to hear them...email me.  ecm1980@gmail.com  Anyway, that's all for me tonight.  Talk to you later.  Bye.
 

4.19.06
9:45pm

     Today was an especially slow day for me. Both of the kids woke up pretty early this morning, simultaneously at 7am. Not to say that 7am is necessarily early, but for my kids that is just the way it goes. They typically wake up anywhere between 7:30 and 9:00. Not to mention we were up pretty late last night so that my sleep was already looking to be a bit short. Anyhow, after the kids were fed and dressed, my honey was nice enough to let me clean up first. It's usually that way. I'm married to a very wonderful person. I decided to get a jump on my day a bit early, so after playing with Isaiah a bit, I sat down in front of the computer to get some work done. Usually the first part of my work day takes hours, because I do like 1 minute of actual work on the computer and then for 20-30 minutes while the computer does what I just told it to. TALK ABOUT SLOW!!! So I usually just sit there twiddling my thumbs doing nothing while I wait.
     The rest of the day was pretty slow, I would talk w/ Lorenda or Tiffany while I was on the computer. Tiffany and her husband FINALLY got the package of computer accessories that we sent them. It was a microphone, a webcam, a scanner and a printer. Add one more friend to my list of people to "video chat" with. Its great, I love keeping in touch like that because its so easy and convenient. Now here is an annoyance though. United States Postal Service (USPS) charged me like $30+ to mail this package to them and told us it would take 1-2 weeks for them to receive it. Well 1-2 weeks came and went people. It was more than 3 weeks! At first I thought maybe someone stole the package, or maybe the packaging had come off. I was worried that not only was I out 30 dollars, but all these computer parts that I was trying to give to someone who needed them! Anyway I was very relieved when they finally did arrive. But take my advice people, use FEDEX! At the very least you can track your order. My friend Kevin's dad use to work for the Post Office, and he had a saying that pretty much sums up the reliability of USPS. "Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow will keep me from my appointed rounds. But hey, maybe its hot, or windy. It doesn't say I can't skip my rounds for those."
     So there is actually some exciting news with my job. I can't really go into details about it all, but it looks hopeful that I might actually get the raise that I've been waiting 3+ years for. That is definitely an exciting prospect as it frees us up to do some things we've been wanting to do including tithe more. Now I know that if you are going to give to God, do it with a cheerful heart, and we do, but we do not give as much as we would like. Call it a lack of faith if you want, but I am just a practical person. Ask Pastor Rob if you don't believe me, he gave my spouse and me a personality test before and I think he knows me well enough to agree with that. But the important thing is that we WILL be able to finally give what we feel we should, instead of what we feel we are able. We should also be able to save some more money for retirement, and breathe a little easier in general when it comes to finances. I think many of you know how difficult in this day and age it can be to be a single income family, especially with children, but we've always managed.
     I wonder how many of you are thinking "Eva doesn't have a job, does she?" or maybe "This doesn't sound like the Eva I am used to reading". Well its her hubby James writing tonight. You see, the story behind that is that we got home from grocery shopping not long ago (9:45pm) and I haven't eaten since around 11:30am, so you can imagine I was pretty hungry. Well I asked my beautiful wife to make some breakfast burritos for me (she makes the BOMB breakfast burritos), and being the dear she is, she said she would. The condition on her doing so however was that I sit down and write her journal tonight. My reply to this was, "I have no idea what you do all day so how could I possibly write YOUR journal. I mean, I know you don't cook or clean, and you're not terribly interesting.. Come to think of it, I wonder what you write about at all!!!"... OK, I didn't really say that, I am just kidding, but she told me to write about my day and I must say, I've written quite a bit more than I thought I could. In closing I'd like to say..
     Those breakfast burritos were SO worth it.
-James


4.18.06
1:15pm

     Yes, I know I am starting this very early.  I just felt like it.  I figured that since all of the kids are sleeping (nap time) I might as well.  Isaiah went to school this morning and he was so good. He has been a lot better about getting up in the morning and going to school.  I'm proud of him.  I haven't called that speech therapy place yet... I only just now thought of it actually.  One of those things that is easy to forget.  I will do it as son as I can...or I should say that I will as soon as my soap operas are over.  I am lame, I know this.  Last night, when I came home, the dish's were done.  I asked James who did them and he said it was my mom and him.  That was really nice, because it was a big mess.  I am the kind of person who really appreciates it someone sees that something needs to get done, and then does it.  I wish that James did that more often.  He claims that he just doesn't notice that things need to get done.  Which I suppose can be an excuse sometimes...but I feel like that excuse can only go so far.  I mean how many times can you walk by a over flowing trash can and not take it out?  Recently, and I have not told anyone this...I have refrained from taking the trash out.  It was mainly me doing it.  No one else seemed to take notice, or if they did, it was simply mentioned that the trash needed to go out.  So...I decided to let it sit there...to let it just keep building up, sticking out, over flowing, until someone took it out.  So far so good.  People have been getting to it...granted it gets very full, but it is getting done.  I will probably start doing it again soon.  The same kind of thing happens with cleaning the furniture though.  I think that men just don't think to do things themselves...in their heads they know that the woman (I) will just do it.  And that is fine, I generally do everything, and I generally prefer that.  But sometimes it would be nice if James would just dust the furniture.  Luckily, this is all stuff that doesn't bother a lot.  On a scale of 1-10 it is at a 2.  So...there's the end of that complaint.  lol
     Evelyn got her new shoes today that we ordered.  They are too big on her, but they still fit ok and she wears them fine.  James was watching her when they came...I was sleeping.  I saw them briefly when he brought her up to the room to show me.  Speaking of sleeping...isn't it funny how while you are sleeping, you don't get the urge to use the bathroom unless it is a dire emergency...but...if someone wakes you up, then all of a sudden you have to go.  So annoying.  After he was done showing me the shoes I had to go to the bathroom.  I was so warm in bed and cozy, but I still had to get up.  I love my bed, I love napping. 
     But I hate MySpace.  Tiffany is trying to get me to join.  She even sent me an invite through MySpace for my to join.  I thought about it for like 3 seconds just because she wants me to, but I really don't want to.  I just don't want to go with the flow on this...there are some things that I will go along with, but I just don't see what joining MySpace is going to do for me.  I don't want to hook up with old friends from school.  I have the friends I want.  And I don't want to make new friends with strangers, who I will never meet.  Actually, I am contemplating canceling my tagworld web page too.  I have started to like how Yahoo 360 looks better.  And I just don't feel like I need to have a whole bunch of journals out there on different websites.  I still need to go through all of my 2005 journals on the church website, and print them up.  I want to print them all, and put them in a binder.  Keep them next to my own personal journals.  I think that would be good.   Anyway, that's all for now.  If anything super important happens later, I will post an update.  Bye.
 

4.17.06
12:15am

     Hello out there.  So I just got home about 40 minutes ago.  I was out at the mall with Tammy and we while we were there we saw a movie.  I like that the movies there are so cheap.  I was able to recycle our soda cans today and get ten dollars for them which I used for this evening.  I really like getting to go out with her and be a way from home.  I think that Tammy enjoys it too, and so hopefully we can continue to do it.  The movie we saw was Firewall.  A Harrison Ford flick.  Wow is he getting old.  I mean that guy is looking his age.  I don't know how they are going to make the new Indiana Jones movie look good.  They won't be able to do much action.  It is filming now, so let's hope Harrison doesn't get himself killed doing any stunts.  lol 
     A neighbor down the street called me today after I gave her my phone number at the park.  She was able to give me the number I needed so I can get Isaiah some speech therapy.  I am really excited about making that call tomorrow.  She even said that if they find it necessary, they would request that he be in their pre-school.  Which would be great for us, since it is free.  We would be saving just shy of two hundred dollars if that happened.  Anyway, I will write about how that call goes tomorrow.  The rest of my day was ok.  The kids were good.  Isaiah played a lot of video games today, I didn't mind though, because I was with Evelyn so much.  She was more difficult today than usual.  Just being whiny you know.  Could be a tooth. 
     Anyway, I know today is boring, and I am tired.  So I am going to end this.  And...tomorrow I am taking Isaiah to school.  I don' want to.  Anyway, later.
 

4.16.06
10:27pm

     Well hello.  Happy Easter once again.  It was a good day...really good.  Church was great.  The music was very touching, I even cried.  Nino's sermon was very good also...he was preaching out of Luke chapter 24.  Isaiah did great in his children's class that Tammy teaches.  He was telling her all about how Jesus died and came back.  It made me feel proud, I was so glad to know that he understood.  After that though we came home and enjoyed some lunch, hung around the house some...just enjoying the relaxing day you know.  I painted some more of Evelyn's room, finished the butterflies, and on that section now I only have the rocking horse fly left. 
     Right now though, all of that is not very important.  I actually wanted to talk to you about something else. I was on cbs.com and was reading an article about China.   It was all about the problem they have with their population.  They have way more men than they do girls.  Because they passed that law in the early 1980's that everyone can only have one child...and since most parents are taken care of by son's in their old age, they all want to have sons.  So....what started happening was they would have ultra sounds, and if they found out it was a girl, a lot of them would have an abortion.  Turn out that in the first 20 years of that law, over 8 million baby girls were aborted.  Over 8 million!!  That is crazy.  It's insane.   It makes me feel sick to my stomach, and my heart.  So then, after that, they changed the law so that it is illegal to get an ultra sound unless it is a medical emergency.  But of course, that doesn't stop it from happening illegally, and it does.   Now, all of this is bad, but one thing hit me very hard.  In China abortions are legal...that we can pretty much figure.  But here is the worst thing about it...they allow abortions all the way up to 9 MONTHS!!!  This broke my heart into so many pieces. Visuals started flowing into my head.  I feel disgusted.  The thing is, I doubt that there is anything we can do to change this.  It's another country, and they have their own ways.  But I do know that I will be praying for this country now...I will be praying for every woman who gets pregnant and wonders if she should risk it being a girl.  I am going to pray for all the babies...and hope that they are given the chance to live.  If you want to read this article...and I think you should, here is a link that will take you to it.   http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/04/13/60minutes/main1496589.shtml
The story just gets worse.  Now they sell baby girls, since they need girls to marry their sons...well, read the article, I think it's a must. 
     On another note, I am watching the movie North Country.  It is a true story, and it is so very sad.  I am always amazed at how utterly ignorant people were in the past.  Sexual harassment, the kind that this woman was subjected to, is the worst kind.  It is degrading, insulting, embarrassing, shameful, disgusting.  This world sickens me.  I highly recommend you watch this movie.  It is very informative.  Shocking, and something that every woman should watch.  Anyway, I better go...Evelyn is awake, wide awake...and it's after midnight.  And...I am watching the movie still.  So...I am done.  Read the article, watch the movie.  There's my two cents.  Till next time.  Bye.
 

4.15.06
11:11pm

     I don't know why, but I love it when the time is 11:11, or 2:22, and so on.  It just cracks me up, and I have no idea why.  Isn't that silly?  Anyway, Happy Easter, since no doubt you will be reading this tomorrow.  Tonight when we were putting Isaiah to bed we talked to him about Jesus some, and how he died for us, and that after that he came back...and that is what Easter is all about.  We went on more of course, but that was the basic...anyway, so then it came time to pray...and Isaiah wanted to pray.  Well, he usually just says the same thing, "And I die, fore I wake...Amen."  That is the basics of what he says.  But tonight, with out any coaching from us, he changed his prayer.  And we were able to make out some of the words, he mentioned dying, he said, "Jesus come back", and some other stuff too.  We were just so impressed and so proud of him.  It was wonderful.  And after that Isaiah asked me to stay in bed with him for a while...and usually when I do that I make it a point to have that be our "talk time", where I talk to him about a certain thing, or just tell him about how much I love him.  So this time, I decided to continue on with the Jesus discussion.  I talked more about how Jesus was the only person ever to die and come back, and how he died for us, so we could be saved and go to heaven.  He was very impressed with all of this...and then we prayed again for Isaiah, and I asked God to help us raise him to love God, to know God's word, and other things as well.  I think that it had an impact...I really do...Isaiah and I talked for a little while more...then I told him to go to sleep.  In less than a minute he was out like a light.  My little angel.  If you ask me...that is a great Easter story. 
     Now, earlier in the day we were busy.  First of all after we were all done getting ready this morning we all went to Lowes to get lawn fertilizer, and some spray for the windows.  While there I found a gallon of light purple paint (a miss tint) that was for sale for $5 bucks.  I was so excited, it was perfect for Evelyn's wall.  So I got that and I bought some curtains to go over her window, to make it even darker than with just the shades.  The sun is out so much longer now that her room stays pretty bright when it is time for her to go to bed.  That makes things difficult.  I got the curtains a darker purple than the paint, should look nice.  I am only going to be painting two of the four walls in her room.  Just the ones that won't have mural stuff on them.  So, after that we came home and us and all the dogs went outside to play.  After that for a while James and I took some pictures of ourselves.  We got dressed up, I put make-up on.  And we used the tri-pod to put the camera on.  The pictures turned out great, and I should have no problem picking one out to blow up and frame.  I will see if James will add some of them on to here for me. 
     Later...Jeff and Jenn came over for dinner.  They hung out for about 3 hours and we had a good time.  Good food, good company, funny stories.  They will be in California the same time we will be, but they will be there to finish planning their wedding.  James is the best man for it.  He will be in California for at least 4 days in July.  I am not going though...it will be just James for that trip.  I don't mind though, besides being a little bit harder to get things done in the morning, I think that I will be excited to have the evenings to myself.  I can go to bed early and not feel like I am losing time with James.  Lorenda is going to be his date to the wedding.  So hopefully James will let her use our camera and then she can take some good pictures for me so I can see everything.  Especially since I am sure James will look really handsome.  He hasn't even written his speech yet.  He better hurry up too, he is such a procrastinator, I know that he will leave it till the very end and then have to wing it.  Anyway, so that was my day.  Tomorrow I expect to fully enjoy church...and I know Tammy has something special planned for the kids...so I am excited about that for Isaiah too.  Talk to you all then.  Bye.
 

4.14.06
11:21pm

     Hi.  What a day.  Beautiful.  81 degrees and sunny.  Should be sunny for the next five days at least.  Which to me means that we should be trying to do some yard work you know.  My throat is so sore again.  Maybe it is the weather here or something because I can not seem to keep it away.  And wow the humidity is also starting.  I can tell that it is going to be a sticky summer.   We all played outside so much today...and at one point when I was out in the front, that girl I told you I met, Stephanie, came walking by with her kids.  I invited her to come inside for a while and let the kids play, and in the end she stayed for over an hour.  We had a good time...I would like to get to know her better.  I imagine I will. 
     Last night when I was done typing this James was still playing a PC game upstairs with Jeff.  I watched TV for about 30 more minutes and headed out to the store for some late night grocery shopping.  When I cam home...90 minutes later, he was down stairs playing on the X-Box 360.  I looked over and saw that the dishes were not done.  I was hoping that while I was gone he would see that they needed cleaning, and would do it.  I asked him how long he had been downstairs   He looks over at the kitchen sink (because he already knows what I am going to say) and then back at me and says that he had been there about 30 minutes.  He knew already just by my question what I "really" meant.  Which for you other male reader was, "Why didn't you do the dishes when you came down stairs?  Didn't you notice they needed to be done?"  I just don't get that you know.  Men will walk right by a mess, and ignore it all....act like it isn't there.  For once I would like to see James walk by stuff all day and just clean as he went, noticing things, and cleaning them.  I would love that.  Men are so retarded sometimes. 
     Anyway, I bad headache just over came me...and I think I would like a nice midnight bath.  So...goodnight to you.  Bye.
 

4.13.06
8:15pm

     I am giving my self 3 hours to write this because I am watching my shows.  lol  I figure I will mostly type this out during commercials.  Survivor is on right now.  I really think that they should do a Celebrity Survivor.  And I don't mean with lame celebrities either.  I am so sick of all the second rate ones they use for the reality shows you know.  I want to see Mel Gibson, Nicole Kidman, Uma Thurman, Drew Barrymore, Johnny Depp, Denzel Washington, Ben Stiller...ect.  Now that would be a good show.  Watch all these people with no make up, no food, no people to do things for them, having to deal with each other.  And, I would expect for the show to not go easy on them.  I would be mad if they mad it easier just because of who they are.  Anyway, that is my TV suggestion.  I think it is a good one too. 
     Today was so beautiful outside.  Over 70 degrees and tomorrow will be the same way.  Literally right as I was putting Evelyn down for her first nap Tammy called me to see if I wanted to go hang out at the park with her and her kids.  Well, Isaiah was at school, and Evelyn now asleep...so I thought that was great.  I love going places without my kids.  So I hung out there for a while just talking, found out that the water bill here gets to be very expensive in the summer time if you choose to water your grass.  Considering that ours is already dead, I planned on bringing it back to life, so I am sure that our bill will be very high.   According to Tammy, she hardly ever saw the people here before us water the grass, so that explains why the grass is so dead.  We are going to need lots of fertilizer. 
     After that I came home and slept for over an hour.  Lucky me Evelyn took almost a three hour nap and James didn't bug me about watching Isaiah after he came back from school.  That was nice.  Tammy also told me that Ypsilanti Township provides free speech therapy for kids over the age of 3 who need help.  I was so happy to hear that.  Evidently a couple of woman on our street have it for their kids and someone comes to your house once a week and it's free!  How cool.  I want to do that.  I worry for Isaiah so much.  I know that his inability to speak makes it hard for him to make friends.  And I can't blame the other kids, of course they would want to hang out with someone who they can verbally interact with.  I feel like kids just don't have the patience to try to figure out what he is trying to say.  And like I said, you can't blame them, they are kids.  I just feel so bad for Isaiah.  I know that his speaking problems make him feel shy and uncomfortable around other kids.  I don't want him to feel that way...it just makes me sad.  I wish that he would even show some interest in wanting to speak better  though, he doesn't seem to care.  We try to sound words out for him, we try our best to help him say different words, and sometimes he does, the one time.  After that he just jokes around and messes them up on purpose, like he thinks it's funny.  I don't get it.  I hope that getting some speech therapy will help him to relate to people better and express himself too.  After all, I can't have him going into Kindergarten in a year and not be able to tell people his name, his phone number, how he feels...etc.  It would make things so difficult for him. 
     Oh, I almost forgot.  My mom got a new job today.  She is going to be a supervisor at a hardware store.  She will have her own office, and be in charge over all the cashiers.  She will be taking money to the bank also...basically...she is incredibly excited.  She will be getting raises all through out the year for her first year, and after that every six months.  She came home today all smiles.  We are really excited for her, this is definitely the "new" kind of work  she was looking for.  I hope that she likes it.  Her last day at the bank will be this Wednesday, although she starts her new job tomorrow evening after work at the bank.  Anyway, so there is my exciting day.  Oh, one more thing, My in laws, Rick and Patty, have purchased a motor home off of EBay, and are leaving this weekend on a train to Utah to pick it up.  The cool thing is that they are going to let us stay in it when we are there visiting for a week.   Isn't that nice of them?  I am sure it will make things easier on everyone...then we won't all be so crowded.  Well, I am gonna go now.  Talk to you later.  Bye. 
 

4.12.06
10:39pm

     I feel sleepy.  My eyes are tired.  I want to go lay down and close my eyes for the night.  I imagine, if I can get this done in a short amount of time, that I will at a maximum, be in bed by midnight, and that's not too bad.  The morning started off pretty slow.  I couldn't get dressed in anything other than PJ's because we had to do laundry.  So until around 1pm I was stuck wearing those.  During that whole time all I did was be lazy and do some semi cleaning.  What does that mean?  It means that at a glance, things looked nice, but at closer inspection they still needed help.  I didn't mind that though, I wasn't expecting anyone to come visit, and since I was making a small dinner, there wouldn't be a big mess for later.  Which there wasn't.  After I got some regular clothes on though and Isaiah and Evelyn were both taking a mid day nap, I headed over to Tammy's house.  I wanted to help her out at home with some cleaning since I know that with the four kids she occasionally has a hard time keeping up with the house.  So I went over there and was able to sweep the floor, vacuum, clean the stove top, microwave, and counters.  Didn't take me too long either, which was nice because while she was gone getting McDonalds for dinner, James called to tell me Evelyn woke up.  James ended up having to watch her, but it was only for like 8 minutes, since Tammy got back pretty quick. 
     After that my day was pretty uneventful.  I fed Evelyn dinner, made our dinner, cleaned up some, talked on the phone, cleaned more...watched American Idol, and now here I am typing this and waiting patiently for James to get back with my ice cream from McDonalds.  I am in the mood for something sweet.  And since my throat hurts, it will help that too.  Or at least that is the excuse I give myself.  lol 
     Remember last night I mentioned the chance of going to bed early.  Well that didn't happen.  I went to bed at 2am.  WHY??  I know...I am nuts.  But I was actually having a very deep conversation with Tiffany that lasted almost 3 hours.  Of course we ended up covering all the important topics, and then we eventually hit on religion, and that was how we spent the last hour I think.  Sometimes I would really rather not discuss my faith.  Do you ever have that thought?  Sometimes I just don't want to talk about it.  I hate having to defend different areas and trying to say the right thing so I get my point across right.  I hate worrying that I may have said the wrong thing, or not said the right thing, and now I just screwed up any possibility of some random person getting saved.  Which quite frankly is why I don't talk to random people about it.  It was a long conversation though, and it was a good one as far as those topics can go when it is incredibly late at night.  The wonderful thing about Tiffany is that we both know that we can share our thoughts openly, be honest, and in the end we love and respect each other so much that we just agree to disagree.  I love the friend I have in her.  She knows me so well.  She knows my heart.  Anyway, that's enough for me.  Let's hope tomorrow is more exciting, and that I get my ice cream soon.  Bye.
 

4.11.06
9:13pm

     Hi.  Well I am starting this early tonight in the hope that I will have plenty of time to sleep.  I don't know for sure, but I hope I do.  The kitchen is already clean due to the fact that I didn't make dinner, and no one else did either.  I need to vacuum,  but I will do it later, and I have already finished watching American Idol and only need to see what happened on my soap operas today now...I missed them earlier due to some quality time with my kids.  I didn't get a chance to tell you last night but one of the places Tammy and I went to last night was Borders, and while I was there we went into the children's area where I saw some Easter books that were actually about Jesus!  Can you believe it.  I couldn't.  I found one that talked about what what Easter really means.  It is short, cute, and fun.  I am going to read it to Isaiah on Easter and hopefully he will pay attention.  I plan on reading for the next few years too, or more.  Depending on if I find a even better one later I suppose. 
     In regards to that movie we saw last night, Freedom Land, it really was good.  I almost felt like I was watching a live news telecast because it was the sort of thing that I would expect to see on the news.   It had all the hard realities of life...which as we all know can be very sad and frustrating.  Speaking of frustrating.  I want you to read this story, it broke my heart.

(CBS/AP) Detroit  A lawsuit was filed Monday by the family of a woman whose 5-year-old son called 911 to report his mother had collapsed and was told by a dispatcher that he shouldn't be playing on the phone.

The family of the late Sherrill Turner is seeking damages in excess of $1 million from the City of Detroit.
By the time authorities arrived following Robert's calls on Feb. 20, Sherrill Turner was dead.

46-year-old Sherrill, who had an enlarged heart, would have survived if help had been sent immediately.

Robert, who turned 6 last month, sat next to Fieger and played quietly with a Spider-Man action figure, the laces of his black shoes dangling untied under the conference table.

Robert's oldest sister, Delaina Patterson, said the family is worried about Robert and plans to put him in therapy.

"He did everything right, and we believe he's a hero," she said.

Robert was alone with his mother when she collapsed in the bedroom. He called 911 at 5:59 p.m. and told the operator that his mother had passed out, but the operator asked to speak with an adult, Patterson said.
When he called back later, Patterson said, an operator said: "You shouldn't be playing on the phone."

In a tape of the call broadcast by Detroit-area television stations, the operator said: "Now put her on the phone before I send the police out there to knock on the door and you gonna be in trouble."

Police eventually arrived at the house after the second call, which was placed at 9:02 p.m., but Turner already was dead. EMS never came.
 

     Ok, this makes me sick.  We teach out kids that when there is an emergency, when you need help right a way, you are to call 911.  Even the schools teach that.  What good is it then if a child calls, says that he needs help, his mama is passed out (If you listen to the calls that is what he said) and the stupid dispatcher only threatens to call the cops because he shouldn't be playing on the phone.  Makes me so angry.  The thought of that child having to be alone in the house while his mother is dying breaks my heart, crushes it even.  My natural urge is to find the stupid, ignorant woman who answered that phone and slap her in the face, numerous times.  How dare she not take every single phone call she gets as serious until proven otherwise.  Every single call should be assumed as real and as an emergency until otherwise notified.  This is the kind of stuff that proves to me that not only do I have to  teach my son and daughter about 911, but I also need to teach them that after they call that, they need to call whoever else they can, mommy, daddy, grandparents, and then they need to go to a neighbor that they know and tell them.  I am truly sickened that this woman's actions took a child's mom a way.  How dare she.  I seriously hope that she is held responsible for this woman's death, and that she gets everything the law can throw at her.  There is no excuse at all for her actions.  None.
     Anyway, that is all from me.  I would however suggest that we all pray for that little boy, who lost his mom, and needs the comfort of our Lord, Jesus Christ.   Bye.
 

4.10.06
12:40am

     Well, it is late, and I just got home like 20 minutes ago.  I went out with Tammy and we had so much fun.  I can't wait to do it again.  It's so nice to have a friend here.  And the movie that we saw, Freedom Land, was really good, as long as you don't mind lots of cussing.  I would type more out about it, but James is next to me trying to sleep, and I am sure he doesn't want to hear all the typing I am doing.  He had a bad work day and was working for over 12 hours today.  He didn't turn off his computer until after midnight.  Poor guy.  Say a prayer for him if you can, he needs to take some resting time.  Anyway, I will talk to you more tomorrow. Bye.

4.9.06
11:49pm

     Wow, I am starting this at just about the exact time that I did last night, freaky. 
Well, today was very good...had a wide variety of everything going on.  I'll start with church, since it was the first thing.  We got there and didn't have the kids with us, which was great.  My mom watched them for us.  While I was standing there listening to the music I began looking around at all the other people.  Once again, I saw that these young people were openly worshipping The Lord.  Singing, praying out loud, lifting their hands up, and some swinging to the music.  It hit me that most of them, not all, but most do this.  I couldn't help but feel very inadequate.  I kept thinking to myself that they look like "real" Christians.  I kept asking myself, "Why do they feel so comfortable expressing themselves in that way and I don't?"  I always feel like if I do that stuff, I will look stupid, I will feel embarrassed.  Plus, I just don't feel comfortable with it.  Even though I would like to be able to, even though I envy that these people, the same age as me, are able to worship that way...I just can't do it.  I don't even have the urge to do it is the worst part, and that made me start thinking that since I don't even feel the urge too maybe I am not really as close to God as I thought.  What if this is how you are supposed to be if you really are saved.  All of these things were swimming through my head.  Then this song started called My Desire, and during that sound I could feel God's presence come over me...as if to reassure me that yes, he is with me.  But still, why do they feel the need to raise their hands up high and I don't?  What is wrong with me?  Well...I talked to James about this on the way home.  He said he used to worry about the same thing.  He said that people worship in different ways, and express how they feel towards God in different ways.  Worrying about everyone else and comparing is just going to hinder my relationship with God.  It will make me do nothing but worry.  What I should do is praise God in whatever way makes me feel comfortable, and do it honestly.  Because if I raise my hand up in praise, but it's not genuine, it's just to do it, then that's being fake...and it's not doing anything to strengthen my relationship with God.  I do wish that I was so easily over whelmed with the Holy Spirit that I did get that urge to raise my hands up high and shout Praise God!  But like I said before...even if I did, I know that I wouldn't, because I would be so worried about looking stupid...about looking out of place.  I will have to pray about this whole topic, in hope that God will bring me some clarity on the subject. 
     Anyway, so after all of that though we just hung out, it was a great day today and we were at the park for a long time.  Later in the evening Nino and Tammy and their kids all came over.  Guess what James and Nino did?  lol  Me and Tammy just hung out and talked.  It was fun.  Tuesday we are hopefully going to the movies.  Even later into the evening James and I made the invitations for Isaiah and Evelyn's birthday party.  It turned out really good and I even made my own envelopes.  I am excited.  Anyway, I am tired, and James is already asleep.  Talk to you later.  Bye.
 

4.8.06
11:48pm

     Well...guess what?  I just got off the phone with Gina Wardlaw!!  I have been wanting to talk to her for such a long time, but had lost her email address.  Then, a while back I found it, but didn't hear back from her.  So I figured her email had changed.  Then, today I checked around and found her cell phone number...and it still works.  I was so happy.  We talked for quite a while and it was nice to hear about what is going on over there with her.  I completely forgot that they are like 6 hours behind us time wise.  That is crazy.  I have her correct email address now though and so I am going to mail her some pictures and hopefully I will get some back of her kids too.  I want to see how much they have grown.  Oh, for those of you who don't know Gina and Tyler Wardlaw were members of FBC Galt for over a year and then moved to Hawaii...it's like a permanent vacation.  lol  She is doing really good though and Tyler is actually home right now... so that is exciting too.  Her mom is there too right now visiting. 
     I had a good day today.  Busy one.  This morning I set out to do exactly what I planned.  First I vacuumed the car out, which was a harder process than I thought since my vacuum doesn't seem to have the power that it once did.  I think I would like to buy a Dyson.  Anyway, so after doing that I set out to start yard work.  I was out there for a long time, pulling weeds, pulling out rocks and rearranging things in general.  My hands were sore from it all, plus the wind made them feel cold.  The only reason that I stopped though was because our trash can for Yard and Garden stuff was full.  They only provide you with a small trash can for that sort of stuff, which doesn't make sense to me at all...considering how much lawn we will have to mow each week when the weather gets better.  So I will have to look into that.  But for what I did get done the yard looks so much better.  I think it will be nice though once I can really get things going, planting new bush's, and going along the side of the house too and putting plants there.  I want to use some kind of cement or brick to border it all.  Anyway, so after that I came inside and James took Isaiah for a walk, but in the end they weren't gone long and only James came back.  Turns out that Isaiah went to Nino and Tammy's house to play with their son Johnny.  So that was cool because when that happened Evelyn was napping.  FREE TIME FOR US!!  Didn't last too long, but to have total silence in the house was great.  (My mom and dad were gone too)  Then, after about an hour, Nino and Isaiah and Johnny came to our house, Nino and James played video games, and I went over to visit Tammy.  We hung out and watched a movie until the guys got back.  They let us borrow King Kong. 
     Now let me start by saying that I never watched the original movie of King Kong.  So I didn't know that he dies in the end.  So...when I realized that was what was going to happen...I was really sad.  I wanted him to go home and be with the girl and live happily ever after in the jungle.  Ok, I at least wanted him to get to go home.  I expected that he would.  But no, they killed him.  It was really sad.  Isaiah loved it, and he is really starting to understand the finality of death now too.  Like I said before, he understands now that it means you are gone, for good.  So at the end of the movie he went through this whole thing half talking half hand gestures explaining to me how King Kong died.  It was cute.  You know what else is funny...because he knows that dying is forever...when we say goodnight to him at night, when we are about to close the door, he says, "See you in the morning"...'and then to which ever one of us is there he says, "Mama/Dad, don't die ok?"  And then we tell him, "Ok, I won't die."  Weird huh? It can be strange/funny the things that kids say.  And sometimes it's a mixture of sad/sweet.    Let's just hope that neither of us do die over night someday...then I'd feel bad, broken promise and all.  lol
     Anyway, so tomorrow we are going to church.  I think that after church I will try to get some more painting done in Evelyn's room.  I finally got the color of Alice's skin tone right, and finished it.  Now I just have to do the details of her face, and then one last area of her apron.  I enlisted James' help today too and he started on another area of her room that I had drawn on.  I am excited to get her room all together.  It will look great.  But, enough of this for now.  I am going to head off to bed I think.  I will let you know how things go tomorrow.  Bye.
    

4.7.06
11:03pm

     Tired.  That's how I feel.  But I must sound like a broken record because I say that so often.   No real reason to be tired, I just am.   You know how sometimes you will be standing around, doing nothing at all really, and you just think of some random question, out of nowhere?  Today I was standing in the kitchen making a sandwich and all of the sudden a question occurred to me.  Now, I am going to use a word here that I do not consider a cuss word, but I know that Pastor Rob has edited me once before for.  So in advance, I am not using this as a cuss word, I am sorry if it offends anyone, but I am just using it because it is the whole of the question.  The question is...Why do people say, "It's cold as hell in here." ?  Why?  That statement does not make sense.  Everyone knows that hell (once again sorry) is a hot hot place.  So why would it make sense to say it is as cold as it?  Who thought of that phrase?  It is so dumb.  I asked this very question to James as soon as I thought of it, and you know what the genius had to say?  "I don't know, but it doesn't go together well does it?"  Well duh.  I knew that.  lol  No use in asking him.  So, if you know the answer, and have the time, give me an email and let me know. 
     Tomorrow should be a busy day.  I plan on doing some yard work, and cleaning my car out.  All of this should be possible since it is going to be nice and sunny for at least the next 5 days.  I asked/told James to clean the first floor bathroom tomorrow too.  It ends up smelling in there too quickly now that we have to keep the door closed so Evelyn won't get in.  And you know little boys, they try hard, but they miss a lot.  So it's easy to say that it just doesn't always smell nice in there.  I did get an air freshener today though, so that was good.  We went to the store today actually.  All four of us.  We added up the cost of everything as we went, since we are trying to spend less now.  We did really good too, and got everything we needed.  I was proud of us.  James seems to be doing a good job so far in taking care of the bills.  I really hope that this month we can get our act together and handle our money better.  There is no reason at all why we should be coming up short.  When I add up what bills we have to pay, and minus that amount from our income, there is more than enough left over, yet somehow we always manage, or I should say I always manage, to screw it up.  I am looking forward to the 7th of next month to see what we have extra.  Our months go from the seventh to the seventh, since his first paycheck of the month is then. 
     Anyway, that's all for now... I am gonna go.  But I will tell you all about my exciting day tomorrow.  lol  Bye

    

4.6.06
10:33pm

     You won't believe what happened all of 30 minutes ago.  I am sitting here on the couch, our brand new coffee table right in front of me.  Isaiah has a new little hard plastic ball of Evelyn's on the table, and he is rolling it back and forth, and sometimes pushing down on it across the table.  If only I had noticed this sooner...because when I did... it was too late.  Way to late.  There were scratch marks, deep scratches, ALL over one side of my nice, brand new table.  I was so upset.  Very upset.  But I couldn't yell at him, or even be mad at him, I mean it wasn't his fault really.  He couldn't have possibly understood what he was doing would cause that, and as soon as gave him that "look" he told  me "Sorry mama."  So I couldn't be mad.  I just explained to him how doing that was bad, and how he shouldn't do that again...ect.  The poor table though, it was bad.  I tried using this wood polish that I have to help the scratches, but it was only just ok.  Really disappointing.  It is so very true what they say, you can't have anything nice in your house and keep it nice when you have kids.  Well, ok, you can, but things are very easily ruined too.  We are going to try to buy something to fix the table, but I don't know how it will work out.  Oh well. 
     Today was such a great day outside.  We took Isaiah to the park this evening, which we can do now, since it stays light out so late.  Isaiah had a great time at the park...running around with James, and Evelyn really likes the swing.  (Ugh...my poor table.)  I was able to take Evelyn to the doctor today.  We weren't going to at first because her fever went a way, but then she broke out with these red spots all over her body, and I thought that we should.  James thought that it looked familiar to something Isaiah had once...and in the end it was, nothing that you can treat, and will go a way on it's own.  The bad thing is that when we were originally supposed to go was at 9:30am, but James changed his mind and didn't go.  I told him to call and cancel, but he forgot.  I made another appt for 4pm.  What James forgot to tell me though (until just this last minute) was that they called here while I was napping this morning and said that they were going to charge us $50.00 for not showing up to the appt.  WHAT??!!  Are you flipping kidding me?  Evidently you are supposed to give 24 hour notice of cancellation or they charge you.  Bunch of you-know-what.  We didn't even make the appt 24 hours ago.  We called them before they closed the day before.  How could we have cancelled 24 hours in advance?  James told me though that he is not going to pay them.  He said that they will bill us, and when they do, he is going to call them and fight it.  Evidently they said that they charge because they could have given that time to someone else.  Well that's nice, but I don't care!  I am not paying them fifty bucks for time that I didn't use.  Stupid people.  UGH.  That is more infuriating than the dumb table.  I mean really, I have never heard of that kind of idiotic stupid.....ugh.  People make me mad.  I mean honestly, that is the kind of thing that makes me want to change doctors.  I know, that's petty huh?  But I don't care...I hold grudges.  I know I shouldn't, but I do.  Stuff like that just sticks with me. 
     You know I used to be a little bit vengeful.  In high school mainly.  When someone mad me mad, I was openly mean to them.  If I didn't like someone, I had no problem at all letting them know.  I used to tell myself that I was just being overly honest, but really it was just being vengeful.  It was wrong, I realize that now...but still, that is inside of me you know.  I have that mean streak in me.  There are many times actually when I get the urge to say things to people that I know I shouldn't.  And quite frankly it is God alone that helps me to hold my tongue.  Every time I get the urge I hear something in my head telling me that doing that is not what Jesus would want me to do.  So far it has worked pretty good.  But I do worry about when Isaiah and Evelyn are in school, and some punk kid makes fun of them, or hurts them...I am seriously going to have the urge to get in that kids face...but that's wrong, I know that...so maybe I will just go to the parents and smack them around some.  lol  j/k  (maybe  :-]  )  AAHHH, I have problems...lol  Anyway, that's all for now.  I better go.  I need more sleep.  Bye.

P.S.  I added some new pictures, there are a couple of Tiffany. One is her with her new van, and another is her with her Dad and his new baby daughter, her new sister.  I think that she looks so very happy, and I wanted to share them. 
 

4.5.06
8:38pm

     I am going to try to get this done quickly.  I want to attempt to go to sleep at around 10pm.  Last night I had less than 3 hours sleep.  I know, I know, why do I do this to myself?  I was so exhausted this morning.  Somehow I am awake and managing.  I need to get my dish's done, but there aren't that many, so it shouldn't take that long.  Today was such a pretty day, and it would have been great to take Isaiah for a walk, but Evelyn was so tired today, and she still has a fever going on.  I didn't want to take her out.  It ended up never happening though.  My mom went out after she got home, and by time she got back it was just too late to be going for a good walk.  It would have had to be a short one.  Anyway, I really didn't do much today...I mainly held Evelyn and let her sleep on me the whole time.  If she is still feeing bad in the morning, James will be taking her to the doctor.  I have to take Isaiah to school as it is.   I figure if it isn't a tooth coming in, then the only other option would be a ear infection.  Tammy mentioned that today when I saw her because Evelyn was sticking her finger in her ear.  I wish that I could say that her doing that is a good sign of an infection, but she does that all the time...literally.  Isaiah always has too.  I don't know why they have an ear thing.  Ears and elephants...that's my kids.  lol
     Anyway, sorry to say, but I really don't have anything else good to say.  Evelyn made my day really boring.  Maybe tomorrow will be better.  And if not, I will just make something up.  lol  Tell you something spectacular.  Till next time.  Bye.
 

4.4.06
12:44am

     UGH.  What a day.  I am serious.  This was a down right miserable day.  Right from the get go.  Isaiah had a horrible morning.  I mean the kids was as bad as he could be.  I let him wake up this morning to go to school to the sound of his movie playing in his room.  That helped him to wake up in a good mood.  All went well...and when it was getting to be time to leave I warned him that I would have to turn the movie off in a few minutes.  He said, and I quote, "Ok, mom."  Sounded good to me.  Then when it came to be time, he got mad...and more mad.  He started screaming, hitting, kicking...I had to carry him downstairs (almost dropping him I might add) and when we got there he flung himself on the floor.  I tried to reason with him, talk to him...I considered not taking him to school.  But I realized that doing that wouldn't be a punishment for him, so that was quickly disregarded.  I ended up having to pull him outside where he continued to fight with me, throwing himself against the garage door, and hitting me in the face.  I then, after all this, let my frustration and anger over how he was acting get the better of me...and for the first time ever I got in his face and screamed at him.  I felt horrible immediately after wards.  First of all, because screaming at him is not going to make him stop his screaming.  Second, I don't want him to think that yelling is how we solve problems.  I felt so ashamed.  I managed to strap him into the car, and drove off.  I cried the entire way there.  I felt so bad, like I was the worst mom ever.  When we got to his school I had him come sit next to me in the front seat so we could talk.  I told him that I was sorry that I screamed at him...and then proceeded to explain to him why what he did was bad how he had hurt me physically, and hurt my feelings.  We talked for a few minutes.  This is the kind of time though where it is hard to communicate with him, since he can't talk well, when I ask him a question it's hard to understand what he is saying.  I know that he was giving me answers, I just don't know what they were...or if they were the right ones.  I took him into class, and when it was time for me to leave he started crying again but I left anyway.  I came home and told James what happened, and then I went upstairs to take a much needed nap.  You know...here is what I don't get.  Isaiah has always been a really good boy.  We would have problems here or there, but we always took care of them pretty quickly.  I don't understand why this last week or so he has been so defiant.  Acting so unlike himself.  Is it a kid in school that he is imitating?    I don't know.  I just know that we need to take care of this.  Because on top of that today Evelyn is still not feeling well and was screaming all day long.  I mean it, 80% of the day she was screaming.  I had to go buy her more medicine today too because we ran out.  She must be teething, that is the only explanation I can think of.  But who knows.  Maybe it's Bird Flu.  lol  j/k  Anyway, so it was a bad day.  Just bad.  And to top it all off, in the last hour my really bad sore throat has come back.  It hurts so bad.  Can it get any worse people?  Really.  The bright side is that I talked to Tammy today and we are going to try to go to the movies on Tuesday.   It's $.50 day all day at that Dollar Theatre.  I can afford that with no problem.  I will be so glad to get out of the house with someone other than James.  Don't get me wrong, I love him, but sometimes I just need him to be one place with the kids, and me to be somewhere else.  lol  I can't help it, I need my space.  And going out with a friend is the perfect thing for me.  (Right now Evelyn is making all kinds of strange little noises over the baby monitor...cutie pie)  Anyway...so there are a bunch of dish's downstairs right now, and one living room needs to be cleaned, but you know what?  I don't care.  I am tired, I have a sore throat, and I want to be in bed.  It's after 1am for goodness sakes.  And I still need to email a few people. UGH!  Take me away!  Not really...but it sounds nice.  Lorenda, Tiffany, and Tammy all said that kids go through these different phases...and that screaming at your kids is bound to happen...that made me feel better.  I just have to make sure that I keep my cool next time.  And I need to think of a new way to wake him up for school.  Oh, and before I forget...two ladies from Southside Baptist Tabernacle came here today to see my mom.  They were really nice and stayed for about 30 minutes.  It's nice to know that so many church's around here actually make an effort to contact their visitors.  Ok, I need to end this now.  It's 1:25am...and I can almost guarantee you that I will have to wake up in 4 hours to feed Evelyn.  I am going to be so tired tomorrow.  Pray for my sanity.  lol  no, really...please do.  :-) Bye.
 

4.3.06
11:22pm

     Well, yesterday we didn't go to church.  It wasn't all the kids having to be with us though, it was that James had a big stye in his eye and it was very swollen like mine was, and he wasn't going out with it.  Well, I haven't actually driven to the church myself yet, and I didn't want to do it by myself for the first time, so I just stayed home.  Which was good in the end...I got a lot done.  My mom and dad however went to a church that we had previously been too.  Southside Baptist Tabernacle.  I liked that one, with the exception that the pastor was a little too crazy for my tastes.  But that could have just been a one day thing.  The real clincher was that they only sand hymnals.  And James doesn't like that.  He isn't a big fan of hymns.  I like them myself.  But we have to both enjoy it, so oh well.  My mom and dad really enjoyed it though.  So if they end up going to that one on a regular basis I will probably have my mom take Isaiah to Awanas.  Or I will just take him, whatever works.  I think that any program where he can be around kids his own age though is a good thing. 
     My nose is so sore.  I have been having a runny nose a lot, and wiping it a lot, and now it is just so sore to the touch.  I hate that.  On a good note, Pastor Rob was able to help me get back the month of my life that James lost.  December.  I was so glad too.  I really would have hated printing all of those up and having that be gone.  Honestly, I would have had to write something to go between November and January explaining why there is no December.  And of course I would have put in great detail how it was all James' fault.  But Pastor Rob saved the day...and my computer savvy husband could not. 
     Tonight I was watching some TV with James briefly while I was cleaning up the kitchen.  It was a show called Mind of Mencia.  He is a Hispanic Comic who basically says all the things that we are supposedly all thinking.  Basically you could just say that he likes to make fun of all the different races of people...among other stuff.   Anyway, tonight he made mention that he thinks that this day in age, woman have it easier than men.  Then he went out on the street and started asking woman and men what they thought.  One lady was actually dumb enough to say that her good looks and her body don't make it easy for her to get a job.  WHAT???  Yes they do.  I don't know what planet she just came here from, but if you are living here on earth...realistically speaking, YES, it does help.  I am not saying that it should help, or that it is right, I am just saying that it does.  And in regard to do women have it easier than men...I don't think that it is fair question.  I think you have to be more specific with the question.  Easier in regards to what?  Because in some stuff, yes, we do have it easier...but in other stuff, I would say no.  Men have it easier when it comes to a lot of things...especially in the business world.  Yet women definitely have it easier when it comes to getting stuff for free (from men) and getting hired for non career type jobs.  I mean really, if a place has the choice of hiring an ok looking person, or a really hot girl, let's get real now, they are gonna hire the hot girl.  It's just life.  Can't be helped.  But I guess in regards to a job where you are dealing with the public a lot, it makes sense, I don't want to sound bad, but when I am at a restaurant, I don't want to have an ugly waitress...I want to look at someone who looks at least some what good.  It takes away from my enjoyment of the evening if I have to keep looking up and smiling at someone who is just plain ugly to look at.  So in that case, yes, please hire good looking people.  That was horrible huh?  Well, That's me being honest with you I guess.  Well, I should go now.  It's late, and I have to take Isaiah to school in the morning.  Talk to you all later.  Bye

4.2.06
10:45pm

     I am not going to write tonight.  I am instead going to hang out with James.  I haven't even hardly talked to him all day due to naps, me being gone a lot...ect.  Then, as he is archiving all my 2005 journals on here, guess what he does???  Deletes all of December!!!  That's the month we moved.  That was a stressful month.  He just deleted a whole month of my life.  Makes me so frustrated.  I don't know what I am going to do about that...really bugs me.  Any idea's Pastor Rob???  I had planned on printing them all up, and now one of the biggest months of my life will be missing...just great.  Anyway, off I go to get beat at the game Stratego.  Later
 

4.1.06
11:28pm

     Well...It's April Fool's Day.  But don't worry, I am not going to tell some long drawn out story to you and then at the very end say April Fool's.  Mostly because it is too late, especially when you consider that it will be an hour later soon.  We had such a full day.  After lunch we (James, the kids and I) all went out.  It was a perfectly cloudy day to take some black and white pictures.  I convinced James to take me to this lake that I had seen on Rawsonville Rd.  There is a road that leads to where you can put your boats in the water, it is surrounded by trees, and the lake was beautiful.  I took some awesome pictures and I printed them up as 8x10's tonight.  I have so many pictures now that I want to hang up on the wall.  The only thing stopping me is that I need to have the extra money to buy picture frames.  That is what is driving me crazy.  I want to see these pictures hanging up so badly and I can't stand it that they aren't.  I was even thinking that since the pictures were all taken in such a high resolution that I might even try having them blown up to a poster size, and then buying the frame for that...and hanging it in the dining room.  Of course this way I am printing them myself, so it does save some money.  Anyway, I am getting quite good.  I wish that there was some way for me to print them up larger myself, instead of having to send them to a company to do it...but oh well.  8x10's will do for now.
     After that escapade, we went to the mall.  Not to shop mind you, I just wanted to be out and about.  I thought it would be good for the kids, and the mall that we went to has a play area for kids that I knew Isaiah would like.  They both had a lot of fun, and we found the Dollar Movie Theatre that they have in there too.  They show movies that have been out for a while...and only charge you a dollar.  Well, the $1 is the matinee, and then after 6pm it's $1.50.  And kids are $.50 , cool huh?  Today they had the Chronicles of Narnia, Walk the Line, Good Night and Good Luck, and some others that I can't remember.  They are going to be showing some other ones soon that we are going to take Isaiah to see.
     Tomorrow is church.  I am still not too sure if we are going or not.  Tammy won't be there to watch Isaiah, she has to go to a conference.  So we would have to have both kids with us.  I suppose that we could try to make it work...but it would be hard, it is hard enough just having Evelyn in there.  We would have to bring the portable DVD player, and let him watch that during the sermon.  Or something like that.  But I don't know how good that would be either if all of a sudden he were to yell out, "Mama, Look!!"  It might be embarrassing.  I told James that we will see if my mom and dad go to church or not.  If not, then maybe I can leave the kids with them.  Would be easier. 
     Anyway, that's all for now people...It is midnight (or you could say 1am)  and I should go to bed.  I can hear James downstairs playing his video game...who knows how long he will be on there.  I reminded him though that he is losing an hour of sleep...so hopefully he will come to bed soon.  Bye for now.  :-)

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