9:05pm  03/27/05  

    Well, I thought that I was feeling better this morning, but by time I had been in the car for 10 minutes while we drove to church, I was hurting again.  During Sunday School I couldn't even sit the whole time, and walking, well, every step hurts.  Right now I am laying in bed, and have been for the last couple hours.  It still hurts, but it is better, I think that maybe the Tylenol is helping.  James is going to take tomorrow off, so I can rest some more.  That will be nice.  By this evening it was hurting pretty bad.  I still don't know how moving my leg like that could have hurt me so bad, but I guess that's for the doctor to figure out.  So here I am stuck in bed, and it can get pretty boring after a while.  My mom says she will even try to take off Tuesday and Wednesday to help me out....isn't she wonderful?  My mom is great. 

    Despite my pain though, we still went out and visited some people, my great grandma for instance.  Then after that we went and saw James' mom and dad, and checked out the house they just moved in to.  Then we went to my mom and dad's where upon learning of my pain, they both wanted us to leave right away and have me get straight in bed.  I managed to get them to let us stay a little bit though. 

    I also found out last night that my best friend is pregnant.  She already has twins, they are two weeks older than Isaiah, and so as you can deduce, we were pregnant together then too.  So although we are not as close timeline wise, it is still exciting.  She is 3 months along.  It would be so fun if she had a little girl too and then my daughter and hers could be best friends like us.   

    I asked my dad today about doing a bible study with me at least one day a week, to help me better understand what I am reading, and to retain it better.  He said yes!  So that is also exciting, and hopefully, we can start that this week.  He wants to start in the book of John, so I guess I better get on the ball and finish Luke.   

    You know what was extra special about today?  I made it a point to thank God in prayer at least 3-4 times for the resurrection.  And because I did that, it really helped me to keep it in my mind through out the whole day.  I really liked that.  I have been trying to remember to pray at night more.  I used to pride myself on the fact that I did it every night with out fail, but ever since this pregnancy, by the time I go to bed I am so wiped out that I forget.  So I am working on that too.  I would like to have us start praying more before dinner also, so Isaiah can see it.  As it stands James and I just say a silent prayer by ourselves in our heads.  But I know that Isaiah needs to see it done.  

    James just brought me a nice toasty sandwich, how sweet of him.  He is such a good provider. Or, as was mentioned in our Sunday School class, you could say he is being a good "servant". 

    Anyway, that is about all I have to say....Talk to you later.

 03.26.05                                                      10:12pm

    Ok, so today's journal will be much better,  as I have much more to write about.  First of all, I hurt myself tonight.  I don't really know why what I did hurt so bad, but it did.  A little bit after nine, I was laying on my side on the bed watching Isaiah and James wrestle, and Isaiah looked like he might fall off the bed at one point so I was gonna use my top leg that I wasn't laying on to stop him, you know, put it behind him to brace him.  Well, as I lifted my leg like all of six inch's, it hurt really bad.    I mean bad.  Then, after that happened, I was dumb enough to think, huh, why would that hurt, lets try it again.  So I did, but this time I forced my self to lift my leg almost all the way up even though it was hurting really bad, then as I was putting my leg down, somehow that hurt even worse.  So, since then, I am having pain when I walk, bend, lay on my side, and sit up from laying down.  I am really hoping that a good nights sleep will help, as I will be getting up and down a lot during the music portion of church tomorrow.  I think that I will also take a Tylenol tonight, just in case. 

    Then, after that happened, something else bad happened.  James was still wrestling around with Isaiah, and I had gotten up to walk off the pain, and while I was in the kitchen, I hear a loud crack, something had obviously shattered in the bed room.  I thought that James must have broke something, but it wasn't what I expected.  I get in there and he is grabbing Isaiah and carrying him out of the room, they both have glass in their hair, but James has way more. 

    Turns out that while James was throwing pillows at Isaiah, he hit the fan, which has lights in it, and evidently, for no good reason, one of the light bulbs exploded all over the room. There was glass everywhere.  After cleaning out their hair, and putting Isaiah to bed, James and I had to tear the room apart and clean the whole thing, strip the bed, pillows, everything multiple times.  It sucked.           I mean really hoping that you found every little shard of glass is not fun, then, while we had a little pile of it from our sheet that we were gonna vacuum up on the ground, Coco, our little dog, goes and walks right through it like an idiot.  Freaking dogs.  Anyway, so that was an interesting hour and a half.   

    Last night however was a lot of fun.  James, Mary, and I watched some good movies, and had way too much candy.  Somehow, even with all that sugar in her, Mary still managed to fall asleep during that last movie around midnight.  I really love spending time with her.  

    Tomorrow is Easter though, and although we don't go do anything special for it, we do happen to be visiting a lot of people.  My Great Grandma, whom we visit after church every Sunday, and then we are going to visit James' parents and see their new home they just bought.  They are living in Galt now actually.  And then we will go to my mom and dad's house because my mom has a Easter gift for Isaiah.  So by the end of all that, Isaiah should be tired.  

    While checking out the news tonight I came across an interesting article about Easter chocolate crosses being sold.  Basically, they are crosses, made of chocolate, with some flower decorations on them.  Evidently though some church going people are having a problem with the idea of people eating the cross.  I think this is hilarious, I mean it's candy for goodness sakes.  Why do people take everything so seriously?  If you want to read it, here is the link. 

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/03/25/
national/main683140.shtml 

    Anyway, I guess that's all, it's not really late yet, but I think that I will lay down none the less. Bye

 03.24.05                                                       10:08pm

    Ugh, ER is on again.  It's really a love hate relationship that I have with this show.  I want to watch it, but I hate how it makes me feel sometimes.  Stupid show.   

    Anyway, today was such a nice day, that we couldn't help but go for a walk.  Of course, I was regretting that later.  Pretty bad pain in my pelvis and when I was laying in bed, it hurt to move my leg from side to side.  That is one thing that I will not miss about pregnancy.  But hey, only 9 weeks left right.  So that will be nice.  I just want to see her so bad.   

    My mom took Isaiah today, and so I got to nap, and since I had the car again today, I went and picked him up.  That was nice, I had almost forgotten that I had the car, since I don't have it usually. 

    No more overly strange dreams today, just the usual strange ones.  

    Tomorrow will be a fun night, as Mary Patterson is coming over for a late night of movies, so she will be spending the night.  I think that I will get us some candy and popcorn and then we can pig out together,  I'm looking forward to it. 

    Ugh, what a boring journal entry huh?         But that's what happens when you end up feeling awful and stay home doing nothing.  I have nothing good to say.  So I will leave you all feeling disappointed, and leave myself feeling good that for once, I had a relaxing day, and Isaiah, well, he made me smile all day long.  All day long.....he is such a blessing.  Bye.

 03.23.05                                                     10:47pm 

    There is a show called West Wing, about the President of the United States, and I was flipping through the channels tonight and came across it.  At one point, one character asks the President, "What ever happened to separation of church and state?"  And the president says something like, "I don't know, but it doesn't matter, because the American people will vote however they vote, based on what they want....and they always want to know if you go to church."  No, that isn't exact, but close.  Isn't it funny though how true that is?  Everyone cares what religious faith the President is.  They all want to know.  Even though so many people nowadays act like it doesn't matter.  I found that interesting.  I guess in the end, when it comes time to vote, you want some one who thinks the same as you.  Even though people should realize, that same religion or not, people will always have a different opinion on important topics.  Just look at that whole Terri Schiavo case.  

    I think that Isaiah does have a bit of a cold, he hasn't complained about his stomach anymore, but he does have a runny nose now, and that is always annoying for little kids, come to think of it, it is annoying to everyone I imagine.   

    OK, here is something funny and strange to tell you, and it won't probably be as good typing it out, but I am gonna try.  So this morning, I woke up at 8am, and told James to please let me sleep till 8:30am.  SO he says OK, then at 8:30 wakes me up and closes the door, since Jeff will be here soon. But instead of getting up I lay there, and I fall back to sleep.  Well, during that 12 minutes, I had a dream.  Here is what it was about.

    I wake up, and upon looking at my stomach I notice that my belly button is swollen...not a little bit, but a lot.  I mean it looked like the bottom of a snow man, with the head on next instead of the middle.  It was huge, and round.  So I am freaking out already, and Jeff is there too.  Well I decide to touch it, and as I put some pressure on it, it shrinks down some.  For some reason I thought this was funny, so I push out with my tummy, and it sticks back out again.  Well we are all looking at it in a awkward way, and then all of a sudden, it is like it popped a leak, and starts shooting out some blue liquid.  I freak out even more, and start holding my hand out to collect the water, or whatever it is.  The liquid is blue, the kind of blue that you see when you put those tablets in your toilet. 

    Anyway, my hand is filling up, and then another whole pops, and more is shooting out, and I am yelling, "Get me something , anything, a towel!!"  And right as Jeff goes to get me one (who knows where James is now in this)  I actually feel, and I mean I swear that in my sleep I felt it, this thing pops out of my belly button.  It was like a plop.  I look down and see this 2 inch long thing, looks like it has a outer coating holding something in, dark blue, on the carpet at my feet.  I start screaming, and then I wake up.  And let me tell you, I woke right up, sat up, and looked right at my belly.  What a strange dream.  I mean really.  What the heck could that mean????  It was like the movie Alien almost.  Very strange. 

    I am still reading Luke in the Bible.  I am having a hard time right now though because I am in the section where Jesus is telling a whole bunch of parables, and honestly I am rather bored by them.  I mean, I can't understand most of them, and it is just going right in and out of me.  Then I find it hard to continue reading, and just put it down.  I just don't like reading something that I have no idea what it is talking about you know.  Why did he have to speak in riddles?  Couldn't Jesus have just said it straight out?  Would have helped me at least.  I will keep trying though. 

    I got my dad his present today.  He liked it, although the shirt was too big, he has normally always worn size XL but now that he has lost 20 pounds in like 6 months, well, it was way to big, so he is gonna return it and get another one.  I can't believe how much thinner he looks.  It suits him great though, he looks a lot younger.   

    Anyway, that's all for now.  I will talk to you all later.  Bye 

 03.22.05                                                       11:24pm 

    Rain rain go away.   All freakin day it rained, and last night, dang the wind was so strong that we had to take the doggy door out because it was flapping the blinds so much.  But at least it will be nice again this weekend.  Unless God decides to make the weather men look dumb, which I always enjoy. 

    I think that I must have slept bad on my shoulder or something last night though. This is the second time in a week that I have woken up with pain under my shoulder. It lasted all day this time too. At another point in the day, I was sitting, and as I bent down to grab something I got a pain in my lower belly. I don't know what that is about.  But it hasn't happened again since.  I keep having thoughts though about going into labor early, or having to be bed ridden for the remainder of my pregnancy.  Isn't that silly? 

     When I was pregnant with Isaiah, I think that a couple weeks before I was scheduled to be induced, I was already dilated to 3 cm.  So I keep thinking of that too, and that maybe this little girl might try to come out sooner then she should.  And I know that in general, she should only weigh about 3 1/2 pounds right now, but I swear that she must weight more than that.  It feels like she is getting crowded in there.  

    I am always amazed at how long a dog can hold in there p-- if it is raining.  I swear that this morning Coco, our little dog, was highly considering just holding it when she saw that it was still wet outside.  And keep in mind, she held it all night as it was.  When she finally did manage to get her butt out there, it looked almost like she was scared of the grass, just taking little steps.  It was pretty funny.  

    Tomorrow is my dad's birthday.  I actually have the car tomorrow, I didn't get it today, so I am going to go out and buy him a present.  I don't know if we can really afford to right now, but it is my dad, and so I am going to anyway.  

    Isaiah just woke up again.  He keeps acting like he is in pain.  I am worried that maybe he's having stomach pains, since he keeps grabbing it.  But then again, he seems to have gas too, so I don't know, he is in here with us right now though, so I hope that helps calm him down.  It is so hard when kids are this age you know, since they can't really articulate what it is they are feeling.  I hope he is gonna be ok though, James is so against taking him to the doctor when it is "probably" nothing.  As for me, I am a better safe than sorry kind of gal.  I say lets take him in.  Kaiser has a 24 hour section that is open.  But no, James always assumes that it is nothing, and one day that is gonna be bad.  Isaiah's appendix will probably burst someday because he will think that it is gas.  Ugh, men.  

    Anyway, that's all for now I think.  I am gonna go get a drink, I'm thirsty....I have been drinking orange juice like a mad person.  Bye

 03.21.05                                                         9:41pm

    What a busy busy day.  First of all, I went shopping at Costco with my friend Lorenda, and I bought some really beautiful flowers for my front yard, which, after getting them home, Isaiah decided it would be great to take all the petals off two of them.  But I did get them planted before it started raining this evening, so hopefully the fresh rain will do them good.  

    Then I was very happy when Tara and Chris and their kids all came over to hang out.  It was supposed to be only for an hour, but ended up being much longer and I was glad.  The funny thing is that I was so excited to see her again, that by the time she left I realized that I had forgotten to ask any of them if I could get them a drink, or snack or something.  What a bad host I am!  I almost always remember that.  So that's embarrassing.  But we had a great time talking, watching the kids play, and Tara and I got a good laugh when Chris managed to step in some dog poo that all the other kids were able to avoid.  By the time that they left Isaiah was hecka hungry, so I made a quick dinner which consisted of chicken and corn.  Very small meal, but I didn't have time  to go to the regular store like I had initially hoped.  

    On the plus side though, I might be able to go tomorrow, as now that James is going to be car pooling to work with his friend Jeff, the car will be here more often.  I am so excited about it.  I can go to the bank tomorrow if I want to.  Won't that be strange? 

    I got my newest issue of National Geographic.  Wow, this issue is full of stuff that according to them, was around like some 13,000 years ago.  Evidently they found these "little people" who were 3 feet tall that lived on this island.  And of course they recreated their faces and all that.  It really is kinda funny to look at it all.  I decided to just glance through it instead of reading it, as I knew that it would just be annoying, and I get enough of that just while I am out.  

    Anyway, nothing good and controversial to write about today.  Just my everyday boring life.  lol    Cya all later.  Bye

 03.20.05                                                        8:02pm 

    Well, it was a very chaotic feeling day.  Having a 2 year old, and a almost 3 year old with you is insanity.  And I don't recommend it.  I have no idea how some women do it.  I commend you all.  It was crazy, just getting into the dang car was 10 minutes of my life.  I am so glad that our kids are going to be 3 years apart.  Praise God!  But, besides that it was fun too.  After church we all went to have pizza with the Zeller's where I was amazed at how expensive the pizza was.  I loved getting to see Tara though and her little girl is so freaking adorable. 

    Hopefully I will see her again before they leave.  I bought way too much pizza though, and so I made it a point to share some with everyone.  (Where's my money Pastor Rob...2 pieces equals 2 bucks...lol..j/k)   

    Ok, now I saw this article and I wanted to share it...it's on cbsnews.com and I find it hilarious. I will just paste on a small part, but you'll get the point. 

    Pediatric sleep expert Dr. Richard Ferber has     
    developed methods to help parents get their baby to   
    sleep through the night.

    However, they only work if the parents are willing to let
    their babies cry. To help your baby fall asleep, Ferber
    says it is important to put the baby asleep when they
    are awake. If the baby falls asleep with the parents
    and then the parents sneak away from the baby, it
    does not foster good sleep. The baby is learning that
    all these changes will happen when they go to sleep,
    so they will fight going to sleep.

    When the baby wakes up, he will find that something
    is missing and the baby will try to get it back. If he
    falls asleep being rocked and he is not being rocked
    when he wakes up, it is a sudden change and the
    baby will get upset.

    Now, I will stop there, because it is just more of the same....but I mean, DUH!!!!  No way, your kidding, letting your baby cry is a good thing?  I can't believe I never heard that before.  Like I really needed to have a doctor tell me that.  Of course the baby is gonna hate a change when they wake up, duh, that's why you let them go to sleep on there own, crying if need be.  You know what that article doesn't say?  It doesn't say that about a million parents can not handle listening to there child cry. 

    Personally, I don't have that problem, when Isaiah was a tiny baby I could let him cry for however long it took, and I would just read a book.  It doesn't faze me.  But I'll tell you what, I have many friends, and family, who can not do it.  They just can't.  Maybe that guy should write an article about that.  Helping parents get past that obstacle.  Because everyone knows about the crying thing.    I am almost certain that every new mom has heard that advice from someone, or read it in a book.  The advice they need though is how to let themselves do it.  But, the advice you need is never there when you need it, huh.  Just like cops.  You see someone run a light, and you think, "Where is a cop when you need one?" 

    Last night the movie The Ten Commandments went on till 12:45am.  Wow.  Why can't they start that movie earlier anyway?  What's wrong with 7pm, or even better 6pm.  It has to be eight?  But we watched the whole thing.  Even though I realize that it isn't exactly accurate, I can't not watch it.  The early books of the bible are my utter most favorite.  I was reading all about the beginning of creation, Noah, Moses, all those early stories.  It is all so amazing, and fantastical.....I love that God was so vocal with people then.  It just amazes me....I have probably read the book of Genesis way more than I need to. 

    Anyway, that's it for tonight.  Everyone sleep good, I hope I do.

03.18.05                                                      12:24am

    I was in bed getting ready to go to sleep when I realized that I had not sent this in yet.  James tried to get me to just do it in the morning, but my guilt over powered me.  So here I am in the living room with my laptop, cold, trying to type with hardly any vision, since I left my glasses in the room.  So you'll have to excuse me if there are more typos than usual. 

    But on to my day.  Very uneventful.  I did however get to do some fun stuff with Isaiah before and after he went with my mom, and I did make dinner for James and his friend Jeff, but since there was a car accident on their way home we didn't even eat till after 9pm.  I was pretty hungry by then, as you can imagine.  The house was pretty much clean all day, so all I had to do was just dishes tonight.  I love days like that.  I also love that my son knows that toys should stay in his room.  Some parents don't mind having toys in other parts of the house, but for me it is a no no.  His room is there for a reason, and that reason is to keep all his junk in it.  Thank goodness I taught him that from the get go.  

    Anyway,  so James is going to be car pooling with his  friend 3 days a week and so that will help with gas a lot.  And that is always good.

    I will have the car tomorrow and I think that I will try to take Isaiah out somewhere.  I am not sure yet where. But maybe go visit someone. I am really excited to see Tara Zeller on Sunday, and we plan on getting together just the two of us, after that, so we can hang out.  I'm looking forward to that. I can't wait to see her little girl.  

    Anyway, that's all I am gonna write for now, as my warm bed is calling my name. I will write something better tomorrow. Something more "controversial" maybe. lol  Bye.

 03.16.05                                                      11:34pm 

    Well today was another tiring, but good day.  Let me start with this....I vacuumed the whole house, and then swept and mopped the kitchen.  Normally this is not a big deal, but man, now a days it makes me really tired.  So here I am, feeling exhausted, and Isaiah is not at all in the mood for a nap.  Quite frankly, he is basically done with them.   So I decide to have him watch some Justice League cartoons on my computer in my bed so I can lay there, and he will pretty much not go anywhere either.  Well, after about 20 minutes of this my mom calls, she had just gotten off work and is heading to the grocery store, she was wondering if I needed anything.  I said 'no', and when she asked how I was feeling I said 'ok', and explained my makeshift nap.  Well, she said that she would come get Isaiah, take him with her, and keep him at her house for awhile so I could rest.  I told her 'no', but she insisted.  So off he went and I got a two hour nap. 

    My mom also decided that she wanted to start coming to get Isaiah everyday after work, so I could rest, but I told her 'no', because I don't need help that often, but she said well at least 3 days a week then, so I agreed to that, and she will be getting Isaiah on the 3 days that James actually goes in to work, as those are the harder days for me. 

    I think that this is so very nice of my parents.  I know that it takes out of their time together and I am so lucky that they love and care about me so much as to help out this way.  I really appreciate it.  Honestly, taking those naps really does help my hips feel better, and make me more awake for the evening.  I am so happy to have them.  

    Ever wonder what your life would be like if you had another sibling?  Or maybe, in some cases, were minus one?  I think that every once in awhile.  What would life for me have been like if I had a brother or sister?  How different would I be.  I'll tell you one thing, we would have had a whole lot less money at certain points in our lives.  But I wonder mostly about my relationship with my mom and dad.  Would it be the same?  Probably not.  And so, I am so glad I am an only child....I love having them be as close to me as they are.  It does make me wonder though how much things are going to change for Isaiah once his sister comes.  I always pictured myself only having one child.  But now that I have this one great one, I can't imagine not having another one.  Who wouldn't want twice the fun?  

    Tomorrow James is taking his friend Jeff to work with him.  He is going to get hired there.  It is really exciting for James.  Jeff's favorite thing to eat is spaghetti, so I am gonna have that ready for them tomorrow evening as a congratulations dinner. I am so glad that James will have someone new to complain to about work stuff.  I have a hard enough time as it is trying to understand half the terms he uses.   

    St. Patrick's day is tomorrow.  What is the point anyway?  Does anyone even care about that holiday....even a little bit?  I don't.  It's so pointless....the worst part is there are two houses in my neighborhood who find it necessary to decorate their houses with lights for every single holiday.  St. Patrick's Day, Easter, Valentines Day.  It's enough to make me sick.  Bad enough I can't stand it when people leave there Christmas lights up 2 weeks past Christmas.....but all these lights, it's freaking ridiculous.  People should be given fines or something.

    In the health section of cbsnews.com there is a article about woman in infertility clinics, and it says that 41% of them said that if given the choice, they would pick the sex of their baby.  ( I guess this is now possible)   But of course, the article says, it does raise ethical issues.  Well duh!  Of course it does.  Did we need them to tell us that?  I suppose on one hand you could say, that it is up to God what your baby is, that he has a plan and you shouldn't mess with it.  But then again, if God knows everything, and every child born is in his plan, wouldn't that mean that whatever you "picked" was what God wanted?  Did I say that right?  I hope so, sometimes I have trouble explaining my thoughts.  I mean, in the end, it is still a child God created, so it is still what he wanted right?  I don't know, that's a tough one I think.  But I think that if it was me, even though I would be very very tempted, I would still want to let God decide for me, after all, he knows what is best for me.  

    Anyway, that's all for now.  I am gonna rest my weary bones.  I can't wait till this baby comes out.   lol.. Bye. 

 03.15.05                                                       9:57pm

    My hair looked really good today.  Particularly nice actually.  And you know, that kind of thing always happens when you aren't going anywhere.  It's usually on a day when you are stuck at home with nothing to do.  But I didn't do nothing today....I invited a friend over, and we hung out outside, sitting on a blanket while our kids played.  Then after she left, Isaiah and I went for a walk.  All of this would have been fine, except it made the right side of my hip hurt pretty bad, so I had my mom come over and watch Isaiah for an hour while I laid down.  It was very nice of her and it really did help me feel better.  I needed it.  But it was my own fault that I was hurting in the first place.   I mean I knew that it was bad to be on the hard ground sitting for so long, but I did it anyway.  I learned my lesson.   

    You know what I forgot to mention yesterday?  Something kinda strange about me.  Whenever we do have communion at church, and it's time for the drink to get sent around, when it gets to me I always have to take the one that has the most in it.  I scan them all quickly, and pick the fullest one.  I don't know why I do that. I just can't help it.  And....James knows that I have to do this and so sometimes, just to bug me, he will take the fullest one before I can get to it.  What a punk huh?  Anyway, just thought that I would share that little bit of info about me.   

    I am still pretty sore, so I am already in bed as I write this.  I hate this last part of the pregnancy, because the baby goes from like 2 pounds, to 8 or more in all of 2 1/2 months.  It is so draining.  Really makes you tired.  I think that if all of a sudden, God made it so the men got pregnant instead, they would complain a lot more then we do though.  When men are sick they whine so much.  At least the men in my family do.  They are such cry babies.  "But babe, I'm sick, please get this for me, don't you love me?"  It's like they turn into 3 year olds. They just want someone to take care of them all day and feed them ice cream. 

    I feel kind of blah right now.......and I am really tired.  I think that I am gonna be done.  Odds are I will sleep really good tonight too, and still wake up tired.  That is what happened yesterday.  Ah, the wonders of pregnancy.  Bye.

 03.14.05                                                      11:54pm 

    Tonight at 9:20pm we took Isaiah to a late showing of the movie 'Robots'.  It was good.  I was really glad that it actually had a moral to the story, and taught the kids something good.  The general theme was, "You are fine just how you are."  I like that, not all movies do that anymore.  Isaiah was extremely tired at the end of it (11pm) but he stayed awake till we got home and then crashed in bed.  We would have taken him to an earlier show, but they didn't have any that started at 8pm, so...oh well.   

    We also went to the dog park today with our bigger dog Dusty.  Man, when she is running at top speed, there is no way you can catch her.  But she had fun running around there, since it is one of those parks where you an let your dogs off the leash and they just get to play.  Isaiah has a heck of a time trying to catch her. 

    James is getting a friend of his a job where he works.  They have been friends since high school, and James is really excited about getting to work with him.  It will be nice for him to have a actual friend there with him and get to maybe car pool even.  Might save us on some gas, especially with the prices going up like they are. 

    I am pretty proud of myself, I think that in the last 3 weeks, I have only watched my soap operas like 4 times.  That is really quite amazing for me.  I have of course been reading about them still.....but you can hardly blame me for that, they are kinda like an addiction, and can be very hard to give up.   

    I was reading some more in Luke today, and I am at the part right now where Jesus is in Martha's house and she was complaining about her sister Mary not doing anything.  You know, I could kinda relate to Martha.  I bet she is the same way I am.  Always wanting everything to be perfect for your guests, and while they are at your house you do everything you can to make sure that they are comfortable. 

     When I have company, I will often do quick little clean ups here and there, or put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher right away, instead of leaving them for later.  Because you know, I don't want people to see the mess, I want them to notice how nice it all can look.  I bet she was the same, probably cleaning the kitchen so Jesus would be impressed, or think that she was working so hard to please him.  Although I must say that if I had the son of God in my house, and I knew it, I would hope that I would have the sense to do nothing but sit there and listen to every word he said. As is the norm lately, common sense doesn't seem to be very common anymore does it?

    I guess that a judge somewhere here in California ruled that the ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional today.  From what the report said, it is the beginning of California allowing them.  I don't really know what to say to that.  And because I don't know, I thought about not mentioning it.  I mean, am I for it?  No. 

    But do I care enough to protest about it, or take action against it?  No.  Why?  Because not letting them get married isn't gonna stop them from living that way. Allowing it won't change my opinion on marriage being a sacred thing between a man and a woman, I still plan on teaching my son that.  And people are always going to do things that you don't agree with...you gotta learn to deal with it.  Would I allow the law to pass if it was up to me, probably not, but, it isn't up to me, and I certainly am not gonna worry about it.  After all, it isn't for me to judge what any person does.  That is reserved only for God.  I would much rather let him handle the situation.  And I don't think that it will make all the kids in the world think it is ok.  I mean, having that opinion on the teens of the world really is just saying that you don't have any faith in the parents' ability to teach them otherwise.   

    Well, James is just about asleep I think.  I think I noticed his breathing change into that whole relaxed mode.  I guess I should do the same.  After all, tomorrow is gonna be another nice day, and I am sure I will be outside with Isaiah quite a bit.  Talk to you all later.  Bye

03.10.05                                                         9:47pm

    Wow, I had such a good day today with Isaiah.  I really, really did.  Taking advantage of the fact that James is working from home all week to take care of his back, Isaiah and I went to Micke Grove Park and had a great time.  He really loved the zoo, and thought the seals were cool.  The monkeys impressed him a lot too.  By the time we finished our walk through the Japanese Garden, he was so tired.  I asked him if he wanted to go to the park, and he said. "No mama, I'm done."  lol  So cute. (James just went into the kitchen, and I can hear him cleaning up, how sweet.)

     I really love spending time with Isaiah like that, just the two of us bonding.  Oh I, really, always try to think of words, or one word, to describe how I feel about my son, I try so hard to think of something good that will sound right, but still, there is nothing, nothing that can describe how I feel about him.  And I am beginning to wonder if there ever will be.   

    Aren't trains only supposed to honk their horns 3 times?  I am 87% sure that is correct, and I swear that all the trains that go by here have to honk their stupid horns like 5 times or more.  One just went by, and did that.  It is so frustrating, especially since I have Isaiah's window open.  Because as I said yesterday, IT IS HOT!!!  I heard on the news that it will be higher tomorrow too.  ugh.  It figures.  It isn't supposed to be like this in March.  What is God doing up there anyway?  Bring me some wind Lord...please, some nice cold wind.  lol 

    Well, besides all the zoo stuff though, I did keep the house clean, and believe it or not, I cooked breakfast, made lunch, and cooked dinner.  Whew.  I am thinking I am treating James a little too good.  Maybe I should start slacking off. lol  Then he will be impressed more when I cook.  Not that I don't cook dinners often, but I certainly don't make breakfast that often.  Today I made sausage, eggs, bacon, and toast.  Man I'm good.  

    Anyway, that's enough of me making myself look good. So, I think that I will end this with a funny joke. 

To My Loving Wife

    A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error.

    In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been 'called home to glory' following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
From: Your Departed Husband
Subject: I've Arrived!
I've just arrived and have checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

(P.S. Sure is hot down here!)

Isn't that great....I love that one.  Bye

 03.09.05                                                        9:04pm

    I feel so hot!  And not in a good way either.    It seems like the temperature keeps going up, (tomorrow is gonna be 79 degrees ) and I keep on feeling like it is way too hot in here.  I have tried turning the fan on at night with the cold air from outside also coming in, and still, it feels too hot.  I think that it is bugging James, and I know it's just the pregnancy, but it is driving me nuts.  And it's only gonna get worse. 

    UGH!!!   You know what just came on TV?  This stupid (insert cuss word) Old Navy commercial for those ugly looking new shorts for men and women called Bermuda Shorts.  UGH!  Why God would allow such ugly shorts to be created I have no idea.  Girls should not wear shorts that are 3-4 inches below their knee.  It just looks dumb.  Those are only meant for men.  Why?  Because no one wants to see a guy's legs that far up.  That's why those short shorts that guys used to wear in the 80's are gone.  And praise God for that too.   

    American Idol is what I am watching though right now.  They are putting through the top 12 people.  So far so good, everyone I thought would make it has.  Even the hot rocker guy that I am particularly enjoying.   

    MISS CONGENIALITY 2!!  Are they nuts, that movie is not going to do well in the theaters, nope, it will bomb.  You mark my words. 

    Sorry, I can't help right now but comment on all the stupid junk that is on TV right now.   

    AAHHHH!!!  I can't believe that idiot Scott Savol was put through over Nikko!!!  What the heck is wrong with all these people who voted? Don't they realize how utterly annoying that guy is. I am in shock.  Seriously.  Yuck. Thank goodness that is over with.  I need the week to get over it. 

    On a more Christian note, I finished reading through Mark, and I have started Luke.  I must say that I thought that Mark was over way too fast, and really just didn't make me "feel" anything.  Although, it's completely different so far with Luke, I am really enjoying it.  I have read John before, but I can't remember it, so I will do that one again.   

AGH!  It is so hot in here, I feel like I want to cut all my hair off, or jump in a lake.  I better go, I need to take a shower or something....and I think that I have to go 'pee' too.  Oops, I mean use the lady's room.  lol  Whatever.  Bye folks.

Editor's Note: Lest we lead the reader to believe that we are merely trying to stir up controversy with certain columns, allow us to offer this explanation for our editorial treatment of  the  p- -  word.   CLICK HERE

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 03.08.05                                                        9:48pm 

    Today I went onto the church website, to see if my journal had been posted.  It had, and I went ahead and read through it really quick just to see how it looked.  Well, I am gonna be honest.  I was shocked to see that the word p-- had been edited.  I mean what is wrong with that word?  Why on earth, would anyone get offended by that?  Don't get me wrong, I am not mad, not at all, but I am extremely surprised and aggravated that a simple word like that, a word that my son will no doubt use as he learns to use the bathroom, has to be modified at the slight chance of offending someone. 

    This actually bugs me more then the whole thing about taking the Ten Commandments out of buildings.  Don't get me wrong, I don't think that it is appropriate to use certain language on a public website where someone could take offense, but words like p--, and some others, are just silly words.  People are just taking things way too seriously. 

    To me, an offensive word is any word that is used towards someone in anger, or a word that is used to be cruel or hurtful.  That's a cuss word.   Sometimes, and only sometimes, does a person say something around me (or to me) that I don't like, (and you know what?) I don't care....I don't worry about it, because they aren't trying to be offensive, they aren't seeking to annoy me.

    Now, why am I rambling on and on about this?  Especially  since most of this you won't be able to read as I am using the word p-- a lot.  lol  But I don't care, because the whole point is that even if you don't like it, you shouldn't get all worked up.       I don't even know if anyone has gotten worked up over what I write, but just the surprise of having a word like that modified was enough for me, since that obviously means that there is a high chance that someone might.  Ugh, the frustrations. 
This s----!  lol  oops, there's another one.  Yep, I am going to get edited a lot in this one. 

    Ok, I'm done with that.  If any of you reading this do hate the word p--, and I have somehow hurt your feelings, well, I promise to now use the word urinate.  

    In other news:  I was gone all day.  I went to visit a friend today who lives in the mountains and I drove myself there.  I was very proud.  As usually I never do that.  I make James do all the driving to places I don't know.  So I drove up there with my best friend Jessica and her twin boys and Isaiah, to see Tiffany our other best friend.  We had a good time.  Poor crippled James was left all alone to fend for himself.  So sad.  

    You know what is funny?  If I am gone, my dogs will not eat.  It doesn't even seem to matter if James is here or not.  If I am gone, they will not eat.  So, having been gone from 10:30am till 6pm, after greeting me at the door upon my arrival home, they started scarfing down their food.  How strange dogs are huh? 

    Anyway, that's all for now.  I am gonna lay down.  I feel tired, yet restless, I don't know how to solve that problem.  Bye

Editor's Note: Lest we lead the reader to believe that we are merely trying to stir up controversy with certain columns, allow us to offer this explanation for our editorial treatment of  the  p- -  word. CLICK HERE

or email eva with your support: CLICK HERE

 03.07.05                                                      10:08pm 

    As I am typing this, James and I are also playing scrabble online.  So I will be letting you all know how the game goes periodically.  Currently,   I am winning, but honestly that won't last long, as James almost always wins.   

    Speaking of James, he is still hurting, didn't work today and instead went to the doctor.  He pulled a muscle, and the doctor doesn't want him commuting to work, since he would have to sit a long time.  She says he has to get up and move around frequently, put ice on it, and she also gave him some meds.  So he will be working from home all week, and you know what that means?  That I now have to plan a dinner every day this week.  Honestly, that kind of stinks for me.  I am used to making nothing 3 days a week, and Isaiah and I just wing it.  Now, I have to plan something out.  ugh 

    On the up side, I also get to have the car all week, which is a big change, and we also get to save on gas money, and toll money this week.  So that will be nice. Hopefully James will continue to take his meds like he is supposed to, and then I won't have to help him put his socks on anymore.  Not that I mind.  I like helping him.  Even Isaiah has been great and helped him get his pants on. 

 (I am getting slaughtered at scrabble right now.) 
     (Oops, I take that back, I got slaughtered,
                                                        and I just lost.) 

    This afternoon I was outside with Isaiah, and our bigger dog, Dusty, decided to start rolling around on the grass, a perfectly normal thing to do, but when she got up, and I started petting her, she was all wet and smelled like p--.  I couldn't believe that she was rolling around in that.  So, because James is too hurt to do it, I had to keep her outside, give her a bath, and end up almost as wet as she was. She was constantly shaking water and shampoo all over me.  Just awful.  And of course there is now dog hair all over our cement patio.  Dumb dog.

    Anyway, that's really it for now, nothing exciting, just a regular, boring day, of me taking care of Isaiah, the house, and my crippled husband.  Ah, life is so hard.  j/k  lol

Bye

 03.06.05                                                        9:34pm 

    Well, James was still hurting this morning, so he did not attend the big church event at the high school.  I did bring Isaiah with me, as I could not leave him at home with James anyway.  I went and put him in the nursery they were providing, which looked very well organized.  The girls who normally take care of the kids at our church, were doing the kids from infant-1 year old.  So Isaiah could not be with them.  When I took him to the 2-3 year old section and asked him if he wanted to stay and play, he basically clung on to my leg and said no. 

   I think that all the kids freaked him out, as he kinda likes playing by himself anyway.  I thought, 'that is no big deal.' I brought my Game Boy with me for him, in case that happened.  He will play that thing for hours if I let him.  The only problem of course was that you need light to be able to see the stupid screen, and the people in charge of the service decided to leave the dumb lights off the entire time.  I mean first of all, what if someone wanted to look in their bible?  I know there was a point that I did (and it wasn't easy). 

   Second, they just should have turned the stupid lights on.  I mean really, they didn't need to be off, we could all see him just fine with out the dumb screens.  So anyway, towards the end, even though Isaiah was doing very well, I could tell he didn't want to be there anymore, so I tried again to take him back to the nursery.  This time I left him with our church girls anyway, and then I sneaked out.  When I came to get him, he was finally with the kids his age and had made a craft even.  He was very excited about it.  I love when he is proud of himself.   

    I also got to do some shopping today (which is always fun).  I got Isaiah and James a bunch of stuff that was needed and I did very good money wise.  I even bought our new bundle, to be, her coming home outfit.  I am so excited.   

    Now I am so tired, having done a lot of walking, sitting, and just more house stuff since James is currently useless. Now, I have to clean our room, and do the dishes.  I really don't want to.  And James, injured as he is, gets to sit here in bed playing a game on the computer.  Do you know that he didn't even wake up till 12:30pm?  I wish I could have done that.  

    I think that my feet look bigger.  I think so.  I'm not sure.  They do look odd and I know that pregnancy can do that.  I know for sure my legs are.  Thank God I have a dad to help whip me back in shape after this is over.  I will be going to my parents' house at least 3 days a week to have my trainer (my dad) help me work out and lose the weight. 

    Well, I suppose I better stop postponing the misery of cleaning up, and just go do it. 
So......here I go......yep.........I'm gonna get up.....
.......almost there.............ok.....I'm gonna go......
.....really.........ok, yep, bye.  lol

03.02.05                                                         9:47pm 

    At around 2am last night, as we were getting ready to go to bed, James made mention of the fact that his boss reserved the time share in Hawaii for us for October 1-8 and that they just needed the ok to purchase the tickets.  He looked at me as if asking for that answer.  Well, I really wanted to say yes, I really, really did...      

     My fear of flying is just too great!  I knew I was gonna say no, but I didn't want to say it since I didn't want to disappoint him. 

    After quite a bit of time listening to him
         try to convince me,
               involving statistics that I have already
                      heard a million times,

                      it came down to me telling him
                 that there is just no way
          that I can guarantee I will be able to do it,
    and if I say yes, and then can't,
his company would have wasted all that money
     and I know
             that they would not have been very happy
                                 about that. 

     I ended up crying, because he really wanted me to say yes, and I could see that he was indeed disappointed. That is probably the worse thing (if you ask me).  He kept saying that he needs me to say yes.  But I just can't.  I am so scared of the plane having a problem, and then I will die on it.  And if that happens, at least one of my kids (assuming one stays home with grandparents) will be parentless.  If we take them both and there is a accident, then we all die and I don't get to see them grow up.

And yes, I know that the odds of a problem are like a million to one, but I can't help but think that I will be that one.  You know what else drives me insane about this? I hate it, I mean with a passion, when people tell me,
     
    "Well if God wants to take you at that time then
                there is nothing you can do about it." 

Well you know what? I am not disagreeing with that.  It's true, if God wants to take me home on that particular day, that's fine (although I would rather not), but God does not need to do it with me on a plane. I am very sure, that God is creative enough that he could think of some other way for me to die.  I highly doubt that he is sitting up there thinking, "Yep, today Eva has to die on a plane, just has to."

    I know I am being stupid, but isn't that what a fear is?  Something irrational that makes no sense.  I recognize it at least, but I just can't help but feel like something bad would happen.  In the end though, when he told his boss about it today, they said that they would try to figure something else out (like maybe a cruise). Now that's what I want.  A nice cruise where, at least, in the event of a tragedy there are life boats, and, if you have to, you can try to swim for it.  Women and children first right?  I'm in that category.   

     On a completely different topic all together, when James woke up this morning and was eating breakfast, he was watching that dumb morning radio talk show called Armstrong and Getty.  I really don't like them, they bug me.  But anyway, the topic was "Should the supreme court take out the 10 commandments from all federal buildings?" 

     A bunch of people were calling in of course, and you know what it came down to?  One atheist said that basically he feels like having it there is annoying to him. He feels like it shouldn't be there.  What the heck!  I get annoyed all the time by stupid stuff but you don't see me going to court asking to change it.

     I mean, in the end, is it really hurting them having it there?  Is it really that bad, to have something that you don't believe in out and about?  Isn't that what the world is full of, things that you don't always agree with? This is a free country, they get to be there, and we get to choose to ignore them.  Just like they have the right to choose to ignore God?  I swear, people really do just bug me! It's like they have nothing better to do than start trouble (because they can).  That's really all it is, they don't agree with it, so they want it gone. 

     One person even called in to say that they are afraid that having it there will start to cause problems in our society.  What?  Yeah, cause all of a sudden, after 200 some years of having it there, problems will just now start arising.  I am sure that people will all of a sudden get so upset by it that they will just have to start a riot in town over it.   Sometimes I just wanna smack people.   

    Another annoying thing today, was that while I was at KFC with my mom trying to get some dinner for us all, a lady fell, hurt her knee, and she called 911!  I just can't believe this.  She hurts her knee and she calls 911?  For her knee?  She had a cell phone, you're telling me she couldn't call a friend or relative and have them get her and take her to a doctor?  She had to call 911?  That's the stupidest thing ever.  What a waste of thei time.  If that had been me, I would have tried to get up; if I couldn't, I would have called my mom or dad and asked them to come get me so I could go see the doctor.  I think that today was really just one of those days were people were just stupid and ignorant.  I hope that lady has to pay a bundle for that ambulance.  Teach her a lesson.   

    Our fence is up, on a happier note.  No more stupid ugly dogs peeing on my son's toys.  YEA.      I am so happy about that.  Any who, I am done, this thing is yet again becoming too long. 

Bye bye.

 03.01.05                                                         9:35pm 

    My doctor appt. went great.  Dr. Tzeng said that my sugar level was fine this last time, but that due to the fact that I did have a abnormal sugar test one time, she feels that this baby will probably be as big as Isaiah was, or bigger.  Uh oh.  But she said that in the end it is up to me what we want to try.  I said that after I transfer, if the new doc also feels this same way, then I will most likely just say to schedule the c- section, because I don't want to go into the hospital trying to do it natural, and then get disappointed if I can't.  I would rather go in to the hospital having some idea of what to expect.  Ugh, but that stupid needle.  I hate the epidural.  

    Why can't they just knock you out?  But, the good thing here is that I am doing so great with my weight gain.  I think that so far I have only put on like 15 pounds.  That is so great for me considering that when I was this far along with Isaiah I had already put on almost 40 pounds. I am very proud of myself.  Although I feel like I look like it is more than 15 pounds.  lol 

    Also, this is the third day in a row that Isaiah has skipped his nap.  Which I guess is nice for him, since he is growing up and all, but it is bad for me since I love those naps.  I can tell you, I have been very tired at night because of that.  And I know that it is only gonna get worse when the new baby comes.  I will end up being your typical cranky sleepy mom that you see on some lame talk show who needs a make over and a day at a spa.  

    Did I mention, that not too long ago, when James went on that hardly sleeping at all spree, that there was one morning when he woke up with his alarm clock, didn't turn the thing off mind you, just got up, walked to our bedroom door (which is always left open for the dogs) and closes it, walks back to the alarm, turns it off, (I'm watching him this whole time)  and then gets in bed and says, "Is someone here?" (Hence why he would close the door, he thought some one was here)  I said, "Why would someone be here?"  And he said, "I don't know." Then he fell back to sleep.  How strange.  I'm telling you the man was completely delirious. This is why you should always get at least 6-7 hours sleep people.  Other wise you are bound to make your spouse think you have lost your mind.  I don't know what made me think of that just now, but I did, so there you have it.  Totally random paragraph.   

    Well our back yard fence is finally showing some progress.  We actually have two metal posts up.  Do you even know what I am talking about though?  Have I mentioned the fence before? When winter first started, and we had that first big storm with lots of wind, like 15 feet of our fence in the back yard came down.  So anyway, now our two dogs, and their two dogs, are sharing both the yards.  The problem is that they have annoying dogs.  One is a boy, and pees on all of Isaiah's outside toys (I had to clean dog pee off his slide today) and they all come do there other business over here too.  Plus, and this is my big problem, they really just aren't cute at all.  And if you have been reading my journals steadily, you know I don't like ugly dogs.  These dogs are indeed quite ugly.  One of them even has one brown eye and one blue.  Freaky.    Anyway, we told our neighbor that it had to get fixed for sure before our baby shower and Isaiah's birthday party comes around.  I can't have that thing down with a bunch of little kids in the yard.  

    Well I am already on the fourth Harry Potter book and I only just started reading them all again like 2 weeks ago.  I think I should have waited longer to start because I will be done in no time, and the new one doesn't even come out till July. But they are such good books that I can't put them down anyway.  I think the fifth one is the best.  So far at least.  

    Ok, well yet again, I think this is getting kinda long.  And not to mention the fact that I am hungry.  And you know what, I don't think me having a bowl of cereal would be bad, as I am just doing so good with my weight.  Hey, maybe I will even walk down to the liquor store, and get some candy.  Why the heck not?  Anyway...ttfn.  ( ta ta for now)