iona's blog 10/9 - 10/15/2005

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Tuesday, October 11, 2005

No Place Like Home
How thankful I am for "home." Seems like I've been away forever, but as I turned onto our street about o'clock this morning, my strength was renewed and I felt a surge of joy... so much in fact that I unloaded the car and skimmed through the pile of mail on my desk. By four, though, I was drained and slipped gratefully into my cozy bed.

Richard had arrived home several hours before me. We were in separate vehicles because I had gone to a funeral in South Dakota before heading to Las Vegas for two weddings. He drove from home to Las Vegas and back... about 1100 miles. I had gone close to 4,000 and still feel it. I will rest well tonight, since I only got a few hours sleep this morning.

Home has a special "feel" that can't be duplicated now matter how nice the surroundings. The hotel room we had in Vegas was VERY nice, yet I am thrilled to be here... where I "belong." Jesus is right now preparing a place for me in heaven... It'll be my home where I belong!

Speaking of home... A Home Church has that special feeling of belonging. It's something we need... a church home and a church family. For a time, years ago, I quit going to church. I had been lured into Mormonism thinking it was just another Protestant denomination, and when I finally realized that what they taught was anti-Biblical and robbed Christ of His deity, among other things, I was disillusioned. That combined with some painful church experiences made it easy to drift away from corporate worship.

I met a young man in the casino of the hotel where we stayed... He had been very active in his church before moving to Las Vegas, and for a number of "reasons" was no longer attending church. We talked a long while and then I prayed with him for renewed faith and a fresh infilling of the Holy Spirit, for guidance in finding a home church and that he would commit himself to attending even though it might take a while before he felt like he "belonged."

Actually, I spent quite a bit of time visiting with people about the Lord in that casino. There was a lady whose husband had been in a bad accident shortly after moving to Las Vegas and was now in a nursing home. She had no local friends and fought her loneliness by coming to the casino. I am in prayer that she will seek community at church. I heard a lot of sad stories... I pray the seeds I tried to sow will find fertile soil and produce the fruit faith and a life renewed in Christ.... and a reservation in that eternal home being prepared by Jesus.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Thoughts on Plants
After a brief visit with Pastor Rob on the phone today, I drove by the church yard to take a peek at the progress... A great amount of love has been put to work there while we've been away! Funny, I love gardens; I even enjoy the idea of gardening... but when it comes to actually doing anything with God's good earth, I cringe.

Plants do not like me. They wither at the thought of me trying to take care of them. I don't know what they need, how much water to give, how much light or nutrition... I know very little about caring for them... yet I love having them around.

Even the plant members of my own household do not trust me. When I came home early yesterday morning, the plant in my bathroom (I don't know its name... maybe that's why it dislikes me) well, it was hanging over the sides of its cute, little lighthouse pot, draped out onto the counter. A tableau of an eminent death from having exceeded what botanists call permanent wilting capacity... a condition in which the plant has wilted so badly it cannot possibly recover.

Ah ha! This plant was faking! In my guilt, I watered it lavishly. I told the Lord I was truly sorry, but realized I had forgotten to mention to our friend who took care of the house and pets that this plant even existed... I had forgotten my bathroom plant and my friend never went in there. But now the little plant is reaching its pointy green leaves heavenward as it should.

Isn't it wonderful that the God of the Universe knows what we need. He knows our names and all about us. He knows how to take perfect care of ALL of us at once, interlacing what is best for me with what is best for you... and every other person on the planet! And to top that, He even loves having us around. He must have, for He gave all He had to make sure we could be with Him eternally!

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Getting to the Gaithers
We were among several from our church who went to the Gaither's show at Arco Arena tonight. What a show it was! Lasting about four hours (longest live concert I have ever been to) and every minute was great... well, perhaps the standup comedian wasn't my idea of good Christian humor... but the rest of the show, in all its variety, was a huge hit with me.

By the time Richard got home from work and changed clothes it was 6:00 p.m. Barely enough time to drive way up to the northern side of Sacramento during rush hour. Certainly no time to eat. I was ready, but already frazzled from a freaky day. Brain injured people don't usually do well with crowds, over-stimulation, or even hunger. I prayed God would redeem the evening.

I had had a full day. It was so wonderful to be back at Women of Grace Bible study this morning. I sure love our little group! The lesson (for which I had not prepared) went quite well, and the fellowship was fantastic!

I spent part of the day catching up on the pile of mail that came while we were away, then it was time to go for a "routine mammogram". Routine!?! Surely, this form of abuse cannot be "routine!" I admit to being remiss in not having this life saving test performed with any remote regularity. In fact, when asked when and where the last one was had, I couldn't remember... well that's not uncommon for me these days. Suffice it to say, technology has not improved the comfort level of the mammogram and I will be happy to have a memory lapse about having it at all.

On my way home from the hospital, I stopped to fill the car with gas and get it washed. Another "routine" activity... but not this time. I rolled down my window to punch in my magic numbers on the keypad, waited my turn, then, when my light was green, pulled obediently into the stall where the machine began spraying pre-wash all over... ME!

The driver's side window was still down! I flooded while being flooded. Flooding is a term for when the injured brain goes into overload and virtually stops processing. Picture this, along with the interior of my car, I am being squirted with a thick, soapy chemical intended to strip tar and dead bugs off of metal... I am frozen there, car stopped, hunkering down over the steering wheel, unable to respond by rolling up the window... indeed unaware there even IS a window.

The toxic bath finally ends and I, mercifully, have a small recovery of logical thought. I want to roll up the window. How do you do that? I could not remember. I tried the door... NO, that's not right. Starting to flood again. "Please, Lord!," a short prayer, but an answered one.

Finally, I am home. The outside of my car looks great, but the interior is a gooey mess... just like me. Another reminder of just how broken my brain is... I am feeling low. Self pity sets in as I mentally prepare for clean up... but here, waddling and wriggling with joy, bounds an exultant, overweight bulldog, Baby Snooks, to turn emotions right side up. She has me laughing as I work on the car. She plays her way through pain (for she has some health problems) and always reminds me that one of my purposes in life is to bring joy to my Lord by receiving the joy He has offered me!

Our other bulldog, the more sedate and dependent Higgins, stares at me dolefully as I work and only approaches when I stoop down to invite him. He has a spiritual lesson for me as well. When I would fall into the trap of melancholy, of wishing for what might have been or once was, my Savior is willing to stoop down to lift me up, for He knows how weak I really am and how in need of His tender mercies, His Grace abounding over my inadequacies.

Refreshed in the Lord and praising Him as I get ready for the evening's outing, I fail to notice I am hungry... then it is time to leave.

We got there on time, barely, but without having eaten. Arena food is for the truly famished. Richard opted out of the hot dog, but I ordered the big one and wolfed it down on the way to our seats. I am not quite sure what it tasted like, but it was fuel for the brain.

I had prayed for a packed house. It wasn't quite full, but there were plenty of folks and every one of them, male and female were in line for the same restroom I was waiting for. My brain was close to overload, so I tried to focus on one lady... but kept forgetting which one! I visited with the lord and He kept me in line rather than letting me flood out... literally.

Glad to be home now... tired, laughing at the day and myself. Jesus helps me do that. Tomorrow I go to my "head" doctor. He'll ask how things have been going cognitively and I will laugh...

Friday, October 14, 2005

Wisdom With Words
I spent an interesting hour with Dr. McCormick, my neuro-psychologist, this afternoon. He had some advice for me... an opinion, really, for me to consider. I thought it odd that he prefaced his comments by asking me something like would I value or put credence in his observations about my legal situation.

He's not a lawyer, but he IS someone I respect enough to know he would not venture an unqualified or uninformed opinion... on anything. Driving home from my visit with him, I pondered that admirable trait and realized that there are not too many folks I feel that way about. Richard (my husband) is one of them.

Pastor Rob is another, and my friend Carol, and Tom Lane... there are a number of others in my life, but comparatively few who think well before they speak, and speak from a well of knowledge rather than unfounded personal opinions.

Idle chatter is the rule it seems, and that in small doses is not a major deal. But the spirit and the intellect treasure truth and long for depth when the subject is serious and effects important decisions.

Friendly banter and small talk have an important place in our lives and relationships, but knowing when they are appropriate doesn't come naturally to us all. Today, in my doctor's office, I needed to hear from someone who not only understood my situation but could voice a knowledgeable opinion of my options and possible outcomes. Dr. McCormick was wise enough to see that.

Yet equally treasured are those words that lift the spirits, encourage, bring laughter, and speak love... and maybe those are indeed the most important words of all. I have some friends who can make even the darkest time brighter, and they are people I can call at any time, 24/7. A few of them are the same people who give opinions and advice that I can trust... what a combo!

I am an opinionated person who is all too often ready to share my personal stand. Trouble is, not all my opinions are based on real understanding and knowledge. Today's blog is bringing that self evaluation to the forefront of my mind and leading me to ask the Lord to help me monitor my words with greater care.

Having been a life long student and loving research for the pure joy of gathering info, I have a fairly large base of knowledge... Trouble is, brain injury has made it hard for me to find what I know when I want to access it. Also, I have a tendency to wander off subject... But worst of all, I often speak from personal preconception (a nice way of saying bias) which is really no help to the person needing to hear wisdom.

Thinking about my words... learning to choose them with care, and with prayer... I am praying God will lead and enable me to become someone who would not venture an unqualified or uninformed opinion... on anything.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Thoughts on Halloween
Every year I am asked about Halloween, and most of the questions come from young Christian mothers. In 1998, I wrote an article about Christians and Halloween and it has become a standby year after year. No matter what your personal stance on this issue, some other believer will disagree. After you've read my article, you may feel I am totally off base or you might think I have a good handle on the subject... but either way the points below are what really count:

Avoiding Sin & Pleasing God
Christians obviously have widely divergent opinions on the issue of Halloween. Some say it's all just innocent fun and others believe it to be an invitation to evil. While I can't pretend to have the final answer, I would like you to consider these ways to avoid sin and please God:

1. Don't contend with your brother or sister in Christ whose ideas on Halloween differ from your own. We are to love one another and tolerate our weaker brother. After all, you may yourself be the weaker brother!

2. By all means, don't participate in Halloween activities (or any other activities) if you feel it is wrong in any way. If you feel convicted but proceed anyway, it is sin, plain and simple.

3. Pray! Study scripture and pray some more. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and be open to His leading.

4. Don't become a spiritual bully. Your holier-than-thou attitude will drive people away and your witness will be lost on them.

5. When in doubt, don't.

6. Beware of "legalism." The absolutes we find in scripture are well defined and we never find ourselves in doubt about how God feels about them. But there are many "gray areas" in our lives about which we can find no definite scriptural reference. It is just these "gray areas" which can lead to stiff-necked legalism.

In the quandary about Christians and Halloween, our biggest danger doesn't lie in Halloween participation but in dissentions, divisions and disruptions within the Body of Christ.

My prayer is that no matter what you choose to do about Halloween, you will continue in the agape love of Jesus for all your brothers and sisters, no matter how they feel about the last day of October.

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