iona's blog 9/11 - 9/17/2005

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Friday-Sunday, September 9-11, 2005

Feeling Poorly
I am not in church today, and only guilt makes me get out of bed to type this. This is supposed to be a daily journal! Eva always manages to get hers done amid all the activities and demands a mother of little ones has.

I began feeling poorly Friday afternoon and declined after that. Funny, I used to only get a bad cold or flu about once a year, but since moving to California, I have developed allergies and have frequent bouts of respiratory illness. In all reality, it probably has nothing to do with California, but more aptly may be the result of having been a smoker for many years. Now that I am getting older, my past foolishness is taking its toll!

Good advice: If you smoke, quit now! When I'm feeling better, I'll tell you how God led me away from one of the hardest addictions to break... some say worse than cocaine. But today I am miserable and will not last much longer here at the computer. It's day time, but I am taking some Nyquil now and hope to sleep soon. When you are asleep, you don't know you're miserable.

Speaking of misery, in his last blog, Pastor Rob said Jerry (his son) had just had four wisdom teeth out. My prayers are for a speedy recovery and that he sleep through the pain. All my teeth are plastic now and, although I don't recommend it, I am glad!

I had a wonderful surprise this morning, our daughter Kim called and we had a mostly one-sided chat (my voice is about gone). Her beau proposed and she accepted, so there'll be a May wedding in the Colorado mountains next year. I am thrilled for her.

So, to recap this 3-day blog, I got sick Friday, did nothing Saturday except take a short ride (Richard thought the dogs and I needed some fresh air) and hope to sleep all day today or until I am better.

Monday, September 12, 2005

This s Not the Door, or the Time
Pastor Rob writes that Pastor Cliff Hoff is off to serve as part of the Southern Baptist Disaster Relief effort in Louisiana. I am pleased he and others from our church are doing this and wonder what the Lord would have me do. I felt so strongly led to go, yet the door remains closed.

I have not yet received an OK from my neurologist and the Red Cross will not send me without it. Now, as I am in the midst of a particularly miserable cold, I feel it would have been almost ludicrous for me to have gone when I wanted to. I would have been part of the problem rather than the solution. But what does God have in mind when I am better? Will my sweet doctor give his blessing?

You see, I told the Lord long ago that where He led, I would follow. Trouble is, I don't always know in what direction He would have me go. So I wait (not always patiently, I admit) for Him to open or close doors, for confirmation, for a clear knowledge of His will.

It was like that when we came to California. We didn't know for sure where God would send us, but we did have a clear leading that we were going to be sent out of Dothan, Alabama. Two weeks before we moved, we found out where we were going.

The most beautiful thing about all this is that as long as you long to serve Him and allow Him to direct your paths, you need not agonize over "making the wrong decision" because He has promised to work all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8: 28-29. There's a great deal of peace in that.

I once had a friend who was so concerned about doing the will of God that she became almost immobilized because she feared making a choice that was not God's "perfect will." That's not peace! That's bondage, and God is not the author of it!

The harder part for me, is not willingness to go God's way (I learned long ago that it is full of adventure as well as adversity, but is by far the most rewarding route) but the hardest part for me is ME... keeping me out of it and just letting the Lord call the shots. Like an excited child, I will often run ahead, forgetting to consult Him, neglecting to pray in DEPTH to allow myself to be more fully able to hear His voice.

I will await the direction and an open door before I make a move. Not that I am immobilized, but simply because I trust His timing. I do believe He will send me to help... maybe just not right away. I am not good at waiting, but He is faithful to give me lessons in patience.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

It Ain't Me, Babe
Well, now we know. I will not be joining any Red Cross Disaster Action Teams in the near future. Dr. Sheehy, my dear and trusted neurologist talked with Richard and me this morning and explained all the reasons he felt is was a bad idea, at least for now. The door has been closed.

Meanwhile, I will continue to serve as best I can right where I am. Indeed, I am quite pleased with where I've been planted and have faith that God can manage relief efforts quite well without my presence in the area no matter how much I want to be there.

I got an e-mail from a dear friend and fellow bulldog rescuer. Her home near the Louisiana-Mississippi border was completely flattened. She went back with friends to salvage anything that might be left. All they could find after scrapping of 5 inches of mud were a few bulldog ceramics. She said, "Look what survived... the bulldogs!" Her own four pets are safely being fostered in Texas until she can find a new place to live. Only one of thousands of similar stories I am sure.

These disaster victims will need our continued prayer support for years as they rebuild their lives. Perhaps that is the burning God placed in my heart for them... He wants my diligence in continued prayer... when the news is old hat, may I remain fervent in my prayers for these dear folks.

I am feeling a bit better today, but still would rather be asleep. Tomorrow will be a new and healthier day, so I pray!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

What a day! I'm not feeling quite well yet, but getting better all the same. We didn't try to go to Bible Study tonight since we are both still sick and not willing to infect others. I wish folks would be more diligent about that. So many people think they are brave to go to work or church or anywhere while they are sick and miserable. They feel noble, perhaps, or just plain driven. They don't stop and think they are hurting other people. Sorry. I didn't mean to rant, but it is something to consider.

Back to "What a day!" I didn't feel much like housework so other than cleaning the bathrooms, I spent the day reading my Bible and setting up an account at Art.com! I used it years ago, but it was not very efficient then and I dropped it. Then I saw it listed among Eva's favorite links and checked it out.

I am excited because they do all the printing, including posters and archival quality fine art prints; they collect the money and fill the order, including shipping! In short, all I have to provide is the art!!!

I haven't sold any art since my art printer broke down. My art web site http://art4christ.net has been a shambles for over a year now. I stopped taking credit cards because it was so dangerous and I could not afford to cover fraud expense. Sales fell to nothing after that. Everyone wants instant gratification these days. They see it, they want it, they want to buy and pay for it right then; no sending in a check and waiting.

God has used the down time of this illness to set me back on track with my art sales and inspire me to set my web site up again so folks can see the art there and buy instantly through Art.com. I have revamped the framework of my art site and am setting up my portfolios at Art.com now

We have been praying about our income because Workmen's Comp as not authorized any more therapy for me and we are expecting them to declare me "stationary." Basically, that means my benefits will no longer be based on my previous salary because I will "cap out." Bottom line my income, which is already reduced by one third will come out to be about half of what I get now. My doctors will not release me to return to work yet or maybe ever, so I need to sell some art! But you can't sell it if you can't print it... so what a blessing today has been.

God is so gracious, and I just love the way he surprises me with unexpected blessings. Won't you join me in saying a little prayer of praise right now.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Thursday Mornings
Thursday mornings have long been special to me. In the company of other daughters of the King, I have been more richly blessed than words can say on Thursday mornings. At my home church in Alabama, we met on Thursday mornings, my sisters and I, and learned to love one another in ways not understood by many men.

Now, at my new church home in California, Thursday mornings are taking on that same specialness. This morning's meeting of the Women of Grace was a time of digging deeper, a time of opening and trusting enough to share old, unhealed wounds, a time of becoming part of one another, again in ways few men understand.... but not all.

Pastor Rob is one, I think, who has a clue about women's unique symbiosis with one another in Christ. It is different that male bonding (which I openly admit I don't understand well) and different from having that "best friend," too. A group of women in Christ become a nurturing ground where healing and blessings flow and lives are changed. Newcomers, once the group has cohesed, are assimilated almost immediately. The awkwardness of the new initiate melts away quickly as the unconditional love governing that body is absorbed.

With men, it seems to take less time on the surface but more time (if ever) deep down. Those men who "get it" are truly blessed and women seem to know who they are. As I said, Pastor Rob is one. Speaking of him, last week we had to summon him from home on his day off to let us in the building. I felt bad about that. We need to respect his time and his energies. Well, he was so gracious as once again he was called down on his day off to let us in. I should have gotten a key! I will do so before next week. And I will also propose we make Pastor Rob an honorary Woman of Grace!

Tomorrow is the Women's Retreat at Jennes Park. No blog until Sunday. Be blessed. I'll see you then.

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